Most of us will never forget the first sports bet we placed. If you won your first bet, you remember the joy that was brought to your life “hahaha blow me bookie, I’M RICH BITCH!!!” Some may compare the sensation of your first gambling W to the same feeling you had when you lost your virginity.(Not speaking from experience) millennial’s might compare it to their first Victory Royal. However you look at it, it was breathtaking and all you wanted was more. It’s something you will never forget, buts it’s also something you most likely regret, as it fueled an addictive appetite you can’t stop feeding. If it was a loss…..oh boy do you remember that one even more. The disappointment you have towards yourself “It was a 50/50 chance and you f****d it up you schmuck” as I recall screaming to myself as I stare at the negative balance highlighted in f****g red on my account as if I couldn’t see it in the black font anyway (thanks asshole). This was what they say “the beginning of the end”. There is only one thing worse than losing, can you guess what it is? If you guessed losing over and over and over and over again then congratuf****nglations,you actually guessed right for once! There is something sick about sports betting that us Office Jockeys feed off of and sadly there is no definitive answer to that question. Maybe it’s because it’s a “hobby” that can make my miserable day at work go by quicker, or maybe because I’m stuck staring at a computer from 8-5 anyway. Why not waste my paycheck while I’m at it? I was 11 months clean of this f**k ass hobby until yesterday, when I got the itch that no amount of cortisone could cure. Guess what? I caved….and I bet on the Atlanta “Matt Ryan blows” Falcons. Last year in the season opener, I put $400 on the Patriots to beat the Falcons like a red-headed step child and SPOILER ALERT I lost that bet. So this year I figured you know what, fool me once shame on you…so I took the Falcons, and we all know how that ended. I’m now sitting here ranting to a computer screen in my cubicle 6 lunch beers deep wondering where I went wrong in life. With that being said, gambling is Satan. So make sure you parlay the Bengals +2.5, Seahawks ML and Chargers ML this weekend to get you out of the whole you have dug yourself in.
Categories: Cubicle Chatter