You did it again. You went balls to the wall on the weekend and toasted to the diet starting tomorrow before every drink and pizza slice you stuffed down your gullet. You postponed that diet for the last 6 months, and now that wedding you were supposed to get in shape for is right around the corner. You should be ashamed of yourself, but let’s save the walk of atonement for after the wedding reception.

You need to lose weight fast. Not a total biggest loser scenario, just enough to fit into that suit without buttons popping off. Well, I have a solution. It’s not a miracle cure, and it definitely ain’t fun, but it should give you that quick fix.

The Diet: For this to work, you need to cut out all bread and carbs. That means no pizza or pasta. Skip Olive Garden’s endless breadsticks for one week and instead eat very simple meals of non fried meats and vegetables.

The Workout: Run. Run like your fat ass depended on it. If you can’t run, then just build up a sweat. When I say sweat, I don’t mean a “damp shirt” sweat. I mean “my soul is drowning” sweat. Don’t try weight lifting either. The goal here is to lose weight, not make a last ditch effort to turn all that fat into muscle. You’ll just end up fat and sore.

This is not a permanent lifestyle. This is you cramming for that Final the night before exam day. Personally, I was able to lose 10 pounds in one week, but I challenge you to do more.

It’s not a fun diet, but it’ll all be worth it. While everyone is looking at the bride, she’ll be looking at you, and in that moment, the groom will wish he had also done the quick fix and looked as good as you.

Go get em. The Diet Starts Today!



Screen Shot 2018-08-30 at 7.01.48 PM

Written by Silent Riot