Listen up there isn’t much in this world I love more than my 5 square meals a day but the Tampa Bay Buccaneers make a solid case for my affection this past Sunday. Since winning the Super Bowl in 2002 with might I add Tony Dungy’s team (suck a dick gruden) we fans in Tampa have been lets say struggling to put it kindly. Countless coaches , more people on and off the roster than I can even name. Even this past year I had times where I questioned my loyalty to my bucs. We have a starting quarterback who can’t seem to keep his hands to himself and now has to solely use Lyft. We have a secondary that ranked last in every department last year and didn’t seem to add the pieces they need. Overall we suck, we fucking suck.
That was until today at 12:56pm our savior ran out of the tunnel in New Orleans like a gladiator in the coliseum. Coming in at 6’2 35 years young with a beard that could slay any girl at the bar. There he fucking stood, Ryan Fucking Fitzmagic/ Vickspatrick/ The Amish Rifle/ whatever you want to call our sweet prince. He came out today and basically said I’m coming for your ass drew Brees. Guess what bitches, he did just that. 21 for 28, 417yrds passing and 5 total touchdowns. fuck I just got a boner thinking about what I’m going to eat before the super bowl parade. That’s right I said it SUPER BOWL baby the bucs are fucking back. As for our mischievous of a “starter” it looks like he’s going to be taking a lyft to the wonderful Mons Venus as that will be the only action he’ll be getting. Take a seat on that bench Winston because the Amish Rifle is taking the wheel. Also side note I didn’t listen to gambling Galler and laid big on the money line in this game and have won enough money to treat myself to a nice golden corral trip because Sundays are prime rib night and I mean it is what my sweet prince Fitzmagic would want me to do.