If you’ve yet to realize your life course takes a drastic change after graduating college, allow me to be of assistance. The life you once knew is f****ng over. The day in day out grind of the real world entraps and confines your every day activities you once enjoyed. Casual day drinking, naps, Fortnite marathons during the week. That’s all over. Shit, even sex becomes exhausting after college. I’m totally kidding, I’m a virgin. The point I’m concluding to is, having a successful career while participating in the affairs above, is impossible. Take for example, blacking out. Blacking out in college was my dearest hobby I ensured I accomplished at least once a week. There’s nothing quite like letting go of all bodily functions mid-week while inadvertently urinating in your roommate’s closet. An accountable adult at it’s finest.
Despite all that, in n the real world we have consequences. For instance, if I so chose to indulge in a casual black out Wednesday night, Thursday morning agony comes swift and furious. As you get older and are burdened deep into your dreadful career, you discover no amount of Advil or Gatorade will subside the fiery beast that is your hangover. Blacking out in the middle of the week while occupying a career is the most horrific choice you can make. The responsibilities of your job are not put on pause solely because the Caps dropped another Game 7 and you have no other way to cope than excessive black out. Sweating out the sins of last night with your Windsor knotted tie and triple pleaded f****ng khakis on. Meanwhile you got Martha snickering throughout the cubicle “Looks like someone had a long night.” Matter of fact I did Martha, but enough about me… let’s talk about your overweight son Timmy and his super cool bowling team picture you have framed on your desk. In the end, blackouts don’t blend well with the office setting. By all means, Black out but be an adult about it and indulge on the weekends. Stay lose as goose Booze Hounds, it’s Friday, next stop black out city.
Rock this tank with your squad and booze it up like the hound you were meant to be!
Black out song of the weekend: Welcome to the Black Parade
Categories: Cubicle Chatter