Week 1 of the NFL season is over and done with, and I couldn’t be any happier. But don’t let that “h” word fool you. I’m happy it’s over for all the wrong reasons. Not because I got paid out from winning every bet I placed, but actually the complete opposite. Sunday started off hot with a ML win from the Bengals over the Colts…… and unfortunately that’s about all the winning that occurred for me *que finger violin* *que tears* * que disappointment from your mother* If you took the Bengals pick you’re welcome. If you took any of my other picks…I sincerely apologize. Man oh man I don’t even know where to begin. Listen, I owe it all to you to not beat around the bush here or try to make myself sound better than the degenerate sh*tty gambler I am, so I’m just going to give it to my OfficeJockeys straight. I got my d*ck kicked in sideways last week. But you know what? That’s life. After starting off to a hot 1-0 on Sunday, it all crashed and burned quicker than the Bears chances of beating the Packers on SNF. I finished week 1 with a heart-breaking 2-9 record. Yes, you read that correctly, two and nine. But you know what? ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A F***ING DAY. So man the f**k up and throw that saddle back on your gambling pony because we have a race to win. It’s a new week which means it’s a new you. This is our week OfficeJockeys. WE ARE DUE. This is when we spread our wings and we soar to the promise land. Your bank account might live in the past, but you shouldn’t be. It’s gambling people, if it was easy everyone would be doing it. Pour some hydrogen peroxide on those week 1 wounds, crack open a beer and secure those week 2 locks. At the end of the day, just be happy you are free from hell/work.
P.S – My manager read my last post so we will no longer be quantifying the number of lunch beers consumed during the making of this segment (only 4 today unfortunately) because I’m too busy working to be grabbing lunch beers, DUH!
Chargers -7, Panthers +6, Giants +3
Categories: Cubicle Chatter