Ever wonder how you would react in a situation that needs a hero? You think you would run, fight, cry? If we’re lucky, we can go throughout life without ever knowing the answer to that. Unfortunately, I was not that lucky.
Me and my brother were headed to the movie theater to see one of the Captain America movies. We showed up as the previews were supposed to start, so I told him to get the seats while I get the popcorn. I walk in to a packed theater and see that he did a phenomenal job and got the very last row. I didn’t bring my telescope to see the movie so already we’re off to a good start. Luckily no one was next to us so I didn’t have to fight anyone for the arm rest. But did notice there was a backpack on the seat next to me.
“Does this belong to somebody?”
My brother says “Yeah he just walked out”
I didn’t think anything of it, but now the previews are over with and we’re already five minutes into the movie.
“Did he say he was coming back?”
“No he didn’t say anything”
Being the rational person I am, the first thought that entered my mind was “bomb”. I’m shocked my brother is so calm. Is it because he knows I’m there to shield him from the blast? He is extremely calm, so I must be overreacting.
I’m being silly. Maybe he just went to the bathroom.
Now ten minutes have passed, and I’m freakin the fuck out. I lean in to see if I hear ticking. Nothing.
Is it appropriate to open the bag and see if anything is in it? Should I let one of the teenage kids working the theater know and let him handle it?
“He just walked out?”
“And you didn’t find that odd? What did he look like?” There’s obviously stress in my voice now.
“He seemed normal” my brother says calm but obviously annoyed that I keep asking him about the bag.
At this point I decided I’m using him as a human shield.
Finally, someone walks in. Dude in a white tee and a backwards hat. My brother was right, he did seem normal. He sat down next to the bag and I asked “Is this your bag?” he said yes. I am overwhelmed with relief. I look over at my brother and gave him a smile as if to say “don’t worry, crisis averted, keep not giving a shit”.
Then the mysterious man rummaged through the bag, zipped it up, and walked out…without the bag.
ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? He forgot to turn the bomb on the first time. Not only is he a terrorist but he’s an incompetent terrorist. Guaranteed, the only one who is going to die here today is me.
Forget sweaty palms slim shady, at this point I’m f*ckin drenched with sweat.
I lean in to see if I hear ticking again. Nothing
Do I throw myself or my brother on top of it? Do I pick it up and run out the emergency exit it with it? There’s so many options what do I do?
Then I thought, what would Captain America do? He certainly doesn’t waste his time thinking about what to do, he just acts. But how would he act? I don’t have a shield. Most cases he’d probably just punch someone in the face, but there was no one to punch.
I tried to convince myself I was wrong and enjoy the movie, but I couldn’t. Finally I had enough, and just as I was about to go look for the guy, he walked back in.
Sweet Fancy Moses! What a relief. He sat down next to the bag. I said “you got some nerve missing the first half of the movie like that”
He stayed the rest of the movie. Until the projector went out a few minutes later and we all sat waiting fort them to turn it back on.
While we waited, I started talking to the mystery man, and it turns out he was actually a nice guy. He was traveling and decided to catch a movie while he waited for his bus.
After all there was no crisis, just my imagination. Honestly, I think I handled it pretty well.
Categories: Cubicle Chatter