I’m glad a professional athlete (Odell Beckham Jr) has come out of the watery closet and spoke his views on H2O “ I don’t like water” said OBJ. Plain and simple, fuck water and I just want to say I stand behind him because Water= Over hyped and I’ll prove it. The New York Giants Receiver goes on to say he doesn’t like drinking water because he doesn’t like the “squishy” feeling it makes in his stomach when he drinks it, ya know that “squishy” feeling of your body actually being hydrated and having vital organs get the nourishment they need? Psh water…. Is drinking more water going to allow our 90 million dollar wide receiver to not be overthrown by 15 yards? Noooo that problem lies within our aging QB who still manages to look 12 years old. Is drinking water going to cure the fact that our entire team’s body language was saying they’ve given up even though it was the 2nd quarter and we were down 14-3 to Philly at home? Hell no. So I don’t see why the media is defending Water’s side. Water’s kinda of a dick.
TRIVIA: How many people drowned in water? A boat load (ah thank you), How many people drowned in Gatorade/body Armour? 0 How many people have been accidentally stabbed to death by an IV needle? 0. What the point I’m trying to make is, Odell is onto something that can transcend the game, We don’t need water, you can substitute water with Gatorade/Body Armour/ or a nice no sugar-free red bull, it’s the same difference. Or go the OBJ route and exhaust yourself entirely in the 1st half and get that boost you need for the second half via IV’s and smelly salts, AKA the way the game was intended to be played. There’s just too much danger now with water like I said before with the drownings, there’s too many risks that includes: bacteria in the water, Montezuma’s revenge, overhydrating and drowning yourself (google it), Waterboarding. Let me ask you a question have you ever heard someone get MIO-boarded? No because shit like that doesn’t happen unless waters involved.
I feel as if i’ve made my case for why we should deploy an aggressive offensive strike toward water before it’s too late thank you for your time and Go Giants still only 2.5 games out.
Categories: Cubicle Chatter