Now sure, I could ramble on about how great the Steelers played on Sunday and give you every gruesome detail on the can of whoop-ass they opened up on the poor Browns, but I think we can all agree that is getting old, plus this is a family site and the porn references would be too tempting. The Steelers are too good and I’m not melting down….for now. Instead, I thought I’d compile a list of costume ideas that Mr. Le’Veon Bell could go as this year. Given all his free time lately, he should have no problem putting together a killer (pun intended) halloweenie outfit, and I’m here to help.

Benedict Arnold – for obvious reasons, namely being a traitor and having a delicious breakfast delicacy named after him

A pumpkin  because the clock has long since struck midnight and he is no longer needed in Pittsburgh

Flo from progressive – In hopes she could draw up a policy that would insure his precious knees

A man w/ no watch – Since he obviously has no concept of time and has still yet to realize it’s time to show up. Moreover, this would completely explain his absence, and I could finally begin the next step of my grief process: forgiveness.

Snowflake – no explanation here, but I would pay good money to see it

Hamm, from Toy Story – Another obvious one here, if you have to google it be sure not to click on the urban dictionary link at work

I apologize if the majority of this article comes across as written by a scorn 13 year old girl who just got stabbed in the back by her best friend Becky. But that’s exactly what I am, and Becky is a bitch. See you soon, Le’Veon and happy trick or treating to all you ghouls out there. Be sure to creep it real.