The Offseason: Cubs Cubicle
I hope everyone had as miserable as a day as I did after staying up late and watching the Boston Red Sox celebrate winning a world series title last night. I can’t wait to catch up on my sleep tonight after the Patriots are up 21-0 on the Bills at the half and then hear about all of the Pats fans tomorrow talk about how they’re “just rolling this of year” When just four short weeks ago they were losing in Detroit and everyone was overreacting about how much Brady and Belichick have left in the tank. Enough with the Boston talk. Unless you grew up in the New England area and all of your sports teams have been producing or if you have hopped on a bandwagon, then I am preaching to the choir. It’s time for the MLB Offseason.
As a Cubs fan, even though the last few haven’t gone according to plan(See Tyler Chatwood and Jason Heyward for reference points) it is a great time to know that we have very competent individuals making franchise-altering decisions. In all of the Boston schmoozing, it will be left out that our Front Office drafted Mookie Betts, JBJ, and Xander Bogarts.
5 Years/90 Million to Carlos Zambrano: Never forget Big Z destroying dugout Gatorade coolers and giving up an opening day homer to then baseball-prodigy Jason Heyward
3 Years/ 30 Million to Milton Bradley, who we suspended for an entire season because he scoffed at his not being surprised that the Cubs haven’t won in 100 years.
8 years/ 126 Million to aging Alfonso Soriano: I loved imitating his goofy batting stance and crow up as much as the next guy, but the guy was aging and towards the end, it was wasted money. Fans complaining of Schwarber’s defense have been spoiled far beyond belief and all of our winnings has ridden them of the old days.
Stop reading the beat writers and bask in the golden age of Cubs baseball that we are living in. We’ve got tons of young talent and Theo and Co. at the helm leading us into this free agency. We won 90+ games with our best player out for 60+ games, and our most talented pitcher(not a hot take. Yu Darvish’s stuff is filthy) out pretty much the whole year, our closer out the final stretch, Willson Contreras forgetting how to pimp home runs, and Jason Heyward still being a waste of space.
I could copy and paste a bunch of stats from fangraphs here and tell you about how Theo moves weighed down money to open up payroll like a billionaire moving money to the Caymans, but I’ll save you the numbers. See below the only prediction that matters.
This isn’t a homer take. It is happening. Theo has the ego of an up and coming politician but is too smart to run for office in this polarizing time. If you had the choice between getting hate mail from all over and the media hating you or having fanboys like me type up blogs like this while working for a top-tier franchise that still owes you one, it seems like a clear choice to me. This ego is going to lead to Theo being as relentless as ever in pursuing excellence. This is a man that is furious that the Milwaukee Brewers have won his division. Ownership trusts him with the cash and they are eager to get back to winning ways that have turned Wrigleyville into a baseball meets Disneyland cash cow. This urgency(which was lacking last year) combined with the new TV deal that is going to need a new attraction will lead the Cubbies to open up the checkbook. I will spare you the photos of the Bryant’s and the Harper’s double dating like a couple of millennial couples that want to rub in how much prettier they are than us. Bryce to the Chi is happening. Everyone thought that Lebron wouldn’t want to go to Miami and share the spotlight in order to win, everyone thought it about KD. The times are a’changing. We can debate on who from our plethora of position players is traded to make room for Bryce, but in the meantime go place your futures bets in while Vegas has him favored to go to Philly(yuck) and buy yourself the Bryce pinstripe jersey with your winnings.