Cubicle Chatter

Cubs Cubicle: Harper to Chicago

In 1973, The Rolling Stones put out the jam “I know it’s only rock n roll but I like it.”
Well, I have a proclamation: I know it’s only a Bulls hat but I like it! I know Bryce is playing with Chicago’s Emotions like a chick fresh out of a relationship posting a bikini thong pic, but I don’t give a shit. This is big, f***ing huge. Considering Philly is the current favorite to sign Mr. Harper, why would he not be wearing a Sixers hat?! They have one of the most exciting teams in the league but yet a trash bag aroma of fans.
Riddle me this, who the f**k can name five players on the Bulls? I can tell you Bryce can’t. This is a hint, a hint as subtle as a gun to Ricketts, Theo, Jed, and the whole gang. F*****ng sign me. I want to be in Chicago. F**k Philly. F**k the swamp that is D.C. and F**k the Yankees. I want to play for the Chicago Cubs. This isn’t an early voting virtue signaling photo like you broadcasted from Lebron James.
This is a cry for help from a man who wants to play for the best f****ng franchise in Major League Baseball. Harper, if playing in front of the best fans every f****ng day sounds like a nice life to you, then sign here.  Double down and in the words of his own wife: HARPER TO THE CUBS. 

Written by Girth Brooks

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