Okay, okay. Rick Morisey more than likely does not have a mangina, but we can’t be too sure, can we. Anyways, he poked an artery of mine today, so here’s a Cubs Cubicle Rant. 
I will tell you what, It is seriously time to start placing bets on when our President Theo Epstein is going to give Rick Morisey the treatment that President Trump gave to Jim Acosta yesterday.  
Despite my clear views and trust in Theo, I am not completely in the tank for him.  I think he should have traded some of our depth last year and he didn’t.  I thought the Darvish deal was too long and too much cash.  He also made some terrible signings in Boston (see Carl Crawford) and eventually it was time for him to go after the culture dissipated into the players eating chicken wings and drinking beer in the locker room like they were Kelvin Benjamin leaving Buffalo Wild Wings. I have also criticized Theo for trading for Cole Hammels, not trading Javy, and giving up our ace Scott Feldman(Spoiler:  I was wrong on both of these accounts.  Each in a big way.) However, to insinuate that he has left this franchise in an unstable position is laughable.  
“They’re coming off a 95-victory season, their fourth consecutive year of at least 92 victories.”  <<<-  This is Rick’s own words in the first sentence.  Look Rick, we’re not the Patriots, we can’t win every year- and no one can.  Baseball is a very random game.  People forget that even the Atlanta Braves of the 90s only won ONE World Series Title.  

“It’s not just a strange time. It’s a scary time. If Epstein doesn’t know where this is going, how are all the people who think he decides when the sun rises and falls supposed to know? I picture a massive group of analytics groupies with laptops and eyestrain walking into Lake Michigan until air bubbles are all that is left.” 

Strange, maybe. Scary, not. It is strange because we know that some moves are going to be made to free up money.  Scary certainly is not a word I would use to describe such times of these. We’re winning over 90 games every year.  Wrigley is fucking packed. We are living in a golden age of Cubs baseball and could not sign a single free agent for the next three to four years and field a playoff caliber team. Rick then takes a shot at the analytics community, citing Theo and Co.’s embrace of the numbers game.  In the words of Brad Pitt in the criminally underrated Moneyball, “Adapt or Die.”  Well mother fuckers, we are adapting. Maybe if we are a society weren’t getting smarter and flocking to the popular analytics website,, then you wouldn’t have to write such click-baity-hot-takey articles to stay afloat, Rick. Maybe you are adapting and I’m wrong, but I don’t think so.  

Anyway, back to the stability of our team.  Without looking into numbers, this is the rotation we are bringing back next year.

Jon Lester

Yu Darvish

Kyle Hendricks

Jose Quintana

Cole Hamels

IT IS  LAUGHABLE THAT YOU THINK THAT THEO IS UNSURE OF WHAT HE IS DOING OR THAT WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF A TEARDOWN.  I don’t care how old Lester is, or about Quintana’s third time through the order.  That is a top-ten starting five rotation and I will take that any day of the week.  

I’m not even going to get into the lineup of position players, but when a line of criticism is that we have too much young depth on rookie deals(Almora, Happ, Russell, Baez, Contreras, Schwarber) and that we have an ‘odd man out’ is a major concern, I think that’s an advantage, not a sign that we need to rebuild.  We need to trade one of them, and Theo will, although hopefully, we can move Heyward instead.I agree with the consensus that should have been addressed years ago instead of now, but better to have too much talent than not enough and if Theo has done one thing well, it is draft and develop position player depth.  

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest while eating lunch, let me plea to our great leader.  

Do it, Theo.  Revoke the credentials. You have worked too hard getting us to this period of sustained success to put up with this heckler.  Disclaimer: I know Theo is a resister and won’t approve of this, but it’s something he should consider.  I can’t wait until he proves Rick wrong.  He is probably sitting poolside with Scott Boras and Bryce Harper right now telling Bryce that not all of Chicago media is as off their rocker as he is and don’t let it affect his decision.  To which Bryce replies, “Theo, lets shut this guy up and not let him in the locker room for the champagne showers in the years to come.”  Boras tries to get back to getting an extra hundred million out of Theo and Ricketts, but Bryce is willing to sign for pennies at this point.

TL;DR:  Beat Writers Suck.  Theo has left us in a very stable position to compete.  We may not win every year(no one does) but we will be competing and it will be exciting.  Cubs are going to sign Bryce Harper, facts can be found here.  


Written by Girth Brooks