We have come to the time of the football season where meatheads all across this great country ask their fellow peers “Could Alabama beat _____?”
Usually, the blank in the question above is reserved for the Cleveland Browns. This year, however, folks are asking that about our beloved, wagon circling Buffalo Bills.
Also usually, this question is only a hypothetical on talk radio shows and dive bars. This year- the Buffalo Bills have been so bad and Alabama has been so good, that people actually did a study and testing a hypothesis. You heard that right. The Buffalo Bills are so bad, that a hyperbolic, sarcastic question asked by douchebags everywhere was actually tested on a computer model.
The conclusion was, that Buffalo would be FAVORED by 28 points due to our defense. The other conclusion was that our offense was only slightly better. Mainly due to Lesean Mccoy. Analysts believe that Tua wouldn’t be able to move the ball on the Bills Defense. The only problem is, do you see our Offense moving the ball on their defense?!?! They’re stacked with future first round picks and NATHAN PETERMAN IS OUR QUARTERBACK. Even if healthy, Josh Allen is six games or so ahead of playing football is freaking Wyoming. The arm is strong, but I don’t know if any of our guys could get separation on their corners.
To attempt to handicap the matchups, I anticipate that this would be a very boring game. The only advantage we would have is our kicking game. (Haus Money baby) To play devil’s advocate, every team has that advantage on Bama and they still murder everyone outside of the occasional Auburn upset.
I am 100 million percent taking Bama with the points in this and would honestly probably play it money line.
Score Prediction: Bama 14-Bills 3
The way I see this game playing out- Two Nathan Peterman Pick 6s are the difference maker with two elite defenses. Haus makes one from 60 LATE in the game to prevent a shutout.
Hopefully, the outcry of embarrassment would lead the communist Roger Goodell would redistribute some of Oakland’s first-round draft picks to us. Lord knows we need ’em.