Cubicle Chatter

The Parlay Prince: Snakes in the Grass

Monday, I got my Office Jockey Email subscription and had been called out by the ‘Double Down Daddy.’  I did not know this was coming, as far as I knew, he had hung up the spikes due to some bad beats.  This is what made me start spewing my terrible takes on this website instead of losing money in the peace and quiet of my own home.  Anyway, I have to respond to these attacks.
As bad ass as it is to hype up a triumphant return like Jordan coming back wearing the ’45’ and then tell our loyal, but few, readers NOT to bet the biggest game of the year, let’s address this slander.  ‘Double Down Daddy’ said that the over was ‘too good to be true’ at 63.  Meanwhile, the over went well over the 63.  Full disclaimer, I did not bet the over.  I had Rams -3 juiced at +100 and was hoping to brag about it in my rebuttal piece that you are now reading.  I was happy with the push, but would have looooooooved having a winning ticket in the game that ‘Double Down Daddy’ told you not to bet.
Just think about it,  This guy hyped the comeback and didn’t make a pick.  When MJ came back, he did not sit out ten games and let Scottie Pippen run the show, he got out there and eventually made Space Jam and added to his net worth.  CMON MAN
DON’T THROW STONES IF YOU GOT A GLASS HOUSE(or whatever that old saying it)
For reference, I went back and looked at ‘Daddy’s’ record.  I typed in “Gambling with Galler” in the search bar of my website and stumbled across two articles from 9/9 and 9/16.
9/9- 1-2
9/16 1-2.
Yes, his record was better but the bottom line is that we both suck and will probably continue to suck and honestly fading our picks won’t be a bad strategy.  Hopefully we are at least entertaining.

Teaser(Pun intended):  We are near the end of the year, so it is too late to roll it out now, but I am in talks with my counterpart to do a Super contest next year.  This will be more of friendly competition and may save us money in the long run.  We’ll pick 5 games Against the Spread each week with the loser at the end of the year doing a terrible punishment of sorts, like getting shot at with paintballs or running a 5k in a hated teams jersey.  We’ll let the readers decide.  STAY TUNED

Additional Disclaimer:  Daddy and I have been texting since Thanksgiving and let’s just say, if you think we are terrible at this now, we are sure glad that you can’t see our text group with the Beast.  
ON TO THIS WEEK
Seeing that I wrote a parable calling out my friend above, I felt the urge not to go too in depth on these picks below like I have in the past and just shoot for my gut.  New strategy, can’t get much worse.  Let’s go.
New England Patriots (-10.5) at New York Jets
Pats off a loss, Jets are terrible.  Pats may go into cruise control and feed Sonny Michel, but  I would lay up to 17 on this game.
Seattle Seahawks @ Carolina Panthers (-3)
Charity Cam back at home coming off winning the Player’s Association Week 11 Community MVP Award and due for a bounce back performance?  This line should be 7 but Seattle won in primetime and Carolina got walloped in primetime against Pittsburgh a few weeks back.  Lay the Field Goal at home in a needed bounce back spot for the Panthers.  Devin Funchess is questionable which means Newton will throw to Mccaffrey and DJ Moore, which he should already be doing every week.
Green Bay Packers (+4.5) @ Minnesota Vikings
Give me the Aaron Rogers and over a field goal vs. anyone at any venue.
I don’t have a trap this week.  A lot of high spreads so there are a bunch on the board, just gotta lay in the right spots and cross the fingers.

Categories: Cubicle Chatter

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