Cubicle Chatter

Meltdown Monday: I’ve Fallen and I can’t Get up

A quarter by quarter breakdown of the NFL’s biggest piece of shit team: The Carolina Panthers

 Quarter 1

 Are you kidding me? These Seahawks refs!?? The replacement refs are back!!!!

Instead of a fruitful 1st and goal, turn over on downs due to the clowns that are Goodell’s pawns .(the refs) It’s about time the league has shown its true colors: Butthole blue and roll my ass off ecstasy green. (Seattle’s colors)The big wigs, they want Seattle in and Carolina out. It’s true what they say, Sundays are for the one percenters @PETECARROLL.

The score remains 0-0 and Riverboat Ron can’t decide if his play calling will be that of last week’s Evil knievel  style or puddles the f****ng clown.

                                                         THANKS RON!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: Ghano made 3 yard fiend goal. 3-0, super bowl here we come!!!

Side note:Pete Carroll looks like the poster child of life alert.   

commercial Break: Taco Bell is really pulling strings on my heart here. Rolled up Chicken Taco’s. You can fit up to 5 in one hand. its genius, nay revolutionary. Diet starts tomorrow bitches.

Fun Fact:  There has been 0 drops by Carolina receivers thus far. Plot twist: Funchess is Injured.  Another fun fact, he dropped  5 catches the last week.

2nd quarter The  play calling has been about as exhilarating as the movie ” Tip Toes”

Half time: Well, it’s a fuggin slug fest 13-10. A real clash of the Titans. Two offenses with as much excitement as the move Manchester By the Sea. My thoughts? The Panthers fucking stink. If by some miracle we sneak into the wildcard spot, we better pray we lose and save ourselves the embarrassment of playing the Saints. Drew Bree’s will actually be arrested for 1st degree murder as he might throw for 8 touchdowns against our secondary. At this point, I’d rather lose out, finish up at 6-10, snag say the 13th overall pick and save ourselves getting slaughtered by the Saints.

3rd Quarter:  Cam just threw a pick. Put in Jake Delhomme!

4th quarter: Ghano is a BUM!

Final: Seahawks 30- Panthers 27

Thoughts: FIRE SALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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DGD

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