It’s that time of the year again. Christmas is right around the corner and you still haven’t even started shopping for gifts yet. Cyber Monday and Black Friday have come and gone and sure you had a nice treat yourself weekend, but it’s time to start shopping for your loved ones to let them know you care or, at the very least, just to make up for being a pain in the ass the rest of the year. Well the Office Jockeys have you covered. Below is a list of our favorite gifts this holiday season that are just right for that special person in your life.
The Coffee Drinker
For the average working human, coffee is an essential part of their diet. It’s not only on their food pyramid, it IS their food pyramid. In fact, it’s what they drank to get energy to build the pyramid. Coffee gives us the fuel we need to achieve success, so why should we be surrendering all that hard earned money over to Starbucks? This year, give a caffeine addict the gift of easy access to all the caffeine they desire. The Keurig K-Cafe gives you all the features of a full coffee bar in the comfort of your own home. It includes a latte and cappuccino maker for those fancy drinks you order to try to confuse the barista, plus it takes K-cup pods for those days you just need a quick coffee. It’s ok to be an enabler during the holidays, but if you don’t know any addicts, then give them the gift of a new addiction.
The Bathroom Stinker
What better way to let someone know you care about them than by letting them know their poo does in fact stink. But it doesn’t have to! Poo-Pourri is a must have bathroom accessory for when it’s time to do your stinky business. It may not be the gift they need (well some may definitely need it more than others) but at least it’ll give them a good laugh. Amazon has plenty of gift set options including the “Master Crapsman” linked above. Listen, I don’t care how old you are, that shit’s funny.
The All Day Lounger
Occasionally, you just wanna lounge around all day watching your favorite series wearing nothing but your birthday suit. But maybe you have roommates who don’t want to see your junk, and maybe these roommates may or may not be your parents, and maybe you’re one strike away from getting evicted from your roommate’s house. Whatever the reason, you’re just trying to live your best life and it seems like the world is just trying to stop you. There’s a solution. These Animal Face Robes are by far one of the most comfortable things I’ve ever worn in my life. It feels like a warm cloud cradling your gentle body. Plus they come in adorable animal designs so you can be the cutest little couch potato in the house. It’s impossible for anyone to yell at you to get up and get a job when you’re dressed as a penguin. That’s not opinion, that’s science.
The Flip Flopper
There’s nothing worse than a cheap pair of boring flip flops that cut up your feet or break as soon as you slide them on. Hari Mari is here to change all that. The memory foam toe posts make for a comfortable fit and the trendy colors make their flip flops anything but boring. The best part is that they donate 1% of every sale to support kids battling cancer, so you can get a great pair of flip flops while supporting a great cause.
The Weight Watcher
The New Year is approaching and it’s time to start making those new year’s resolutions. Lose weight? Sure we can try that again this year. Any scale will tell you that you definitely put on mass after all that holiday feasting, but those digital numbers won’t show you the details you need to make progress. The Renpho Smart Scale actually dives deeper into the numbers and provides metrics way beyond just weight including BMI, Muscle Mass, and Body Age. The app also tracks your progress over time helping you to stay on track to achieve that Greek God body you deserve.
The Busy Chef
Cooking a decent meal after a long day of work can seem impossible. This often leads us down that dark path of take out. But that one night of take out turns into a daily routine which leads to crippling obesity. Let’s be clear: Buying Fast Food is not an option! But making it can be. Enter the Instant Pot. This bad boy let’s you make a hearty healthy meal in minutes. Tired? Good. Throw the ingredients in the pot and go change into something comfortable. By the time you return you’ll have a perfectly cooked meal waiting for you.
For the Ladies
Your Mom, Sister, Girlfriend, Wife, and Mistress. These are all women you need to do something extra special for this holiday season. But buying for all of them can be so difficult! Our friends over at Shoreline Sugars are here to help. They understand that every woman is unique in her own way, and their clothing selection is designed to cater to all women. Still not sure what to get your lady? Then just get her a Gift Card. Any gift from Shoreline Sugars is bound to make her smile.
The Office Jockey
Do you spend your days at work daydreaming about the weekend? Is your favorite part of the diet breaking that diet? Are you a human being? Then boy do we have the perfect gift for you! Check out our STORE for all the gifts you need for that weekend warrior, including one of our super comfortable tees, all $15 each and come with a free Office Jockey Koozie! Go ahead, treat yo self. You deserve it.
Looking for a stocking stuffer that’s sweet enough to make them smile but hot enough to burn the house down? Look no further. The people at Epic Life Sauce have made a hot sauce that provides a burst of flavor with just the right amount of heat to spice up any meal. Their Jack Axe hot sauce is the perfect gift this holiday season and a must have in your pantry all year round. Go snag some before they run out and make sure you tell them we sent you. Use code “JOCKEY” to get a 20% discount.
We all have that one person who makes it absolutely impossible to find an acceptable gift. Not because they don’t like anything. In fact it’s the total opposite. They love everything, but they don’t wait to have it gifted to them. They just buy it on their own. Every family has this person. I know because I am this person. I check Amazon more than I check Facebook. To be honest, I’m the only reason Bezos is so rich. For people like this, it may be better to just buy them an Amazon gift card. If you know someone who is an online shopping addict but is not using Amazon, then give them the gift of prime. It gives them free 2-day shipping PLUS access to their media network. Fast shipping and unlimited streaming? Look at you killing two birds with one Bezos!
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Categories: Cubicle Chatter