This Post was submitted Annoymiously
Yeah, so what, it has taken me fucking days to respond to the “Miami Miracle”. I have been on a 10 day binger of drinking and smoking the memory away. I got fucking 850 reasons why, but this past Sunday I was revived!
So yeah remember that pat’s spread I told you to take… yeah fuck us right? I put fucking $850 on that game. I bought a point and ended up getting -6.5 Pats. It was the last play of the game, I literally was drowning myself in alcohol. Tannehill drops back, GAME OVER BABY.
But no. I was wrong and so were the horrible announcers.
Tannehill throws it over the middle and the holy football gods sent a blessing so powerful that no demons could penetrate, resulting in a throw perfectly landing in the Dolphins chest.
This is when the announcers said “and that’s the game.” This was also the moment I realized this could be something.
They start making laterals, and I realize that this could be it… I was right. I saw Drake out run Gronk (Why the fuck he was out there and not Josh Gordon is fucking stupid.) and score the game winning touchdown.
Fuck me. I told myself that I’m going to take the week off and regroup myself. As gamblers know this only last a couple of days if that.
IT WAS TIME TO DOUBLE DOWN.
I knew this Miami Miracle stuff was complete bullshit and I decided to call their bluff. I took the Ravens. This Sunday wasn’t just bitter sweet, it was the feeling of when the dealer gives you a Black Jack. My drunk ass was jumping up and down screaming, yelling at the tv saying “fuck the Dolphins” for 3 hours straight. My family now knows I have something wrong with me.
THIS WEEKS PLAYS
Kansas City Chiefs (-2.5) at Seattle Seahawks
Houston Texans (ML) at Philadelphia Eagles
Once again, Fuck the Dolphins and while I’m at it the Patriots too.
Categories: Cubicle Chatter