Gasp, the aftermath….


Congratulations, you made the grave mistake of going to Gasparilla and now you must deal with the consequences. Of course, at the time you were chugging that Tito’s straight from the bottle at 11 a.m. you felt untouchable, but now it’s Sunday, everything changes and you have work in less than 24 hours. Now hopefully, your Sunday scaries aren’t as petrifying as some of my previous Gaspy’s but allow me to enlighten.

Gaspy 2016:

Roommate pukes on the party bus (not sure who’s idea it was to take a party bus but besides the point), the puke was the least egregious act he performed that day. So imagine an entire bus full of people, post gasparilla (i.e. extremely drunk, hungry, & irritable) and my less than stellar roommate decides to pull the emergency exit handle on the roof and proceeds to break the bus. Next thing you know, the buss is stalled and you have 24 pissed off pirates coming for your throat

Gaspy 2017:

The goal is to wake up Sunday morning and get the fuck out of dodge as fast as possible so you can make it to your bed in time to hibernate for at least 12 hours before the Monday morning alarm hums. Being the veteran I am, I wake up at the crack of dawn Sunday morning, hung-over and all prepared to trek my way back to the homeland. Only then an issue arises, I have no keys. I begin to panic, however will I get home? Who has my keys and why do bad things happen to good people? I begin calling everyone in phone, searching for clues. Turns out, one of my so-called friends accidentally took my keys back to Fort Myers (120 miles away) and didn’t realize until I called him. Long story short I have to stay in the dreaded Bay of Tampa for an extra 24 hours while my keys are returned until I can return to my fortress.

Ideally, you’re Gasparilla will be everything you’ve ever dreamed of, but more likely than not something will go wrong. Hopefully, it is not as shitty as year’s prior, but nonetheless shiver me timbers fellow gaspy goers! I hope your hangover is everything you’ve ever wanted, enjoy the Sunday Scaries, nerds!