Sexless In Seattle

Cure the Hangover: Sex

Sex. For centuries it has been the world’s most favorite past time. It’s what we all strive to include in our daily routine. It’s why we spend so much of our time swiping on apps and going on shitty dates. If we don’t get enough of it we can get cranky. Too much and we become sore. Just enough and we’re relieved. Sure we all know the true meaning of sex is to create life, but can it save a life?

While it has never been proven, some medical professionals believe that sex is one of the best hangover cures. That’s because when we have sex, the body releases oxytocin which has been proven to reduce pain. Not sure if any scientists are conducting further research, but if they are, where do I sign up?

Last night you were praying to the porcelain gods puking your guts up. This morning you’re curled in a ball praying for death just to end the pain. The last thing on your mind right now is sex, and that’s totally understandable. No one hungover is sexy. Even if you did manage to get it the mood, all that gyrating and bumpin’ uglies is bound to make you nauseous and relapse. Getting puked on isn’t good for anyone, especially if they’re hungover. So maybe sex isn’t good for severe hangovers, but for the mild to moderate, it could work wonders.

Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “well what if I wake up alone like I normally do, can I still be cured?” Yes my child. Sex can be a single player game. The magical oxytocin is released during an orgasm, so just rub one out and drink some Pedialyte for extra assurance (please do not mix).

The scientific community has really dropped the ball here in not researching this further, so it’s up to us to test the cure. Next time you’re hungover, do yourself a favor and have some sex. If not for yourself, then do it for science.

image5

Dusty Cummings

Categories: Sexless In Seattle

1 reply »

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.