Cubicle Chatter

Dennis Smith Jr: That Tall Blonde Dude on The Mavericks Not named Dirk

One thing is for certain after the NBA ALL Star Festivities this past weekend. The New York Knicks made out like bandits in the Feb Blockbuster trade involving Center piece of the franchise Kristaps Porzingis (dry heave) being shipped away to Dallas in return for 2019 Dunk Contest participant Dennis Smith Jr., Deandre Jordan, and J.Cole at courtside at our home games and a guaranteed shout out to the Knicks on his next album. Plus, I didn’t even mention we received two first round picks During the , I’m not gonna say it because I don’t report on rumors, but it Rhymes with Devin Shmurant and Smlyie Wirving Era. All this for a 7 ft 3 power forward who hasn’t even been mentioned in a J.Cole song, anyway enough of the pity party for the Mavericks, if you don’t believe me and my wonderful reasons above DSJ (that’s what us Dennis Smith Jr. fans shorten his name to) put evidence to my claim with a flurry of dunks, leaps and bounds and a second place finish. First off I know what you’re saying “second place is first loser” and to you I say how many times have you been mentioned in a J.Cole verse? Exactly DSJ is better than you second off did you see this man Leap? Started off the Contest with an effortless windmill alley oop dunk, if Porzingis tried a wind mill dunk there’d be enough wind power generated to power Shang Ha it would just be awkward and involving a lot of windi. DSJ followed this up by Leaping, not jumping, LEAPING over J.Cole, who I don’t know if you know this but referenced DSJ in a couple of his verses. The dunk wasn’t that great besides DSJ’s leaping ability and J.Cole being brought out but Whose Kristaps gonna bring out Dolph Lundgren? (that wouldn’t be half bad). His last completed dunk he dunked over a Jon Snow dressed like Dwayne Wade.  For a second place finish behind OKC’s Hamidou “Rap” Diallo, who I assume is part Eagle of some shit because that man can fly. The Knicks have gone Full Circle from being a shitty organization with our only thing to look forward to is our PG competing in the Slam Dunk Contest like with Nate Robinson.

But seriously this team and season has been a joke long before the February Trade, but it can all be erased if we have a successful free agency and land some big name players this summer. Because I believe we have the role players in Frank, Dotson, Knox, Robinson, DSJ, Even Jordan for the season and a half depending on how free agency goes. We’re all in on rolling the dice this summer but wouldn’t it be just the most Knicks thing ever to miss out on the Zion, KD and Irving Sweepstakes. Leaving us with a bunch of cash we’ll most likely to give to another Joakim Noah like stud. Onto my real thoughts on the Porzingis trade, he is a great player and will be a perennial All Star when healthy, but dude if you and your weird ass brothers aren’t buying into the team and the direction the whole organization of greater basketball minds than your 23-year-old ass has planned for a championship than gtfo this Is New York baby you gotta not only be a great ball player but you gotta leave every fiber of your effort on that Garden Floor, Like Ewing, Starks, DeBusschere, Jackson, and Frazier. If you’re having second thoughts and uneasy feelings and you’re not 100% bought in (Some of which may have been induced by those weird ass brothers, I brought up which manage him) you’re not gonna last, The New York Fans and Media will spot your bullshit and call you out on it. I look at it like KP was gone in the next year or 2 so fuck it we got a return. Pain is Existence

-OC

Categories: Cubicle Chatter

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