Cubicle Chatter

Interview Horror Stories: Google It

Shortly after I graduated college, I got called for my first interview. It was for an entry level role at a new digital advertising company. Not totally sure what this company did, probably something to do with SEO, but that wasn’t important. I already read all the crappy reviews it got on Glassdoor so I knew I didn’t want to work there. I was mostly just going to get experience with interviews.

The interview surprisingly started off well. The lady was very professional and very kind. I actually thought, well if she is any indication of this company, it might be a decent place to work.

Enter the CEO, casually dressed in shorts and a polo, with a massive watch and spiked hair. He hasn’t spoken yet, but I think I found the owner of the neon orange Ferrari in the handicapped spot in front of the building. There’s a chair, but not worthy for him. He sits on the edge of the desk, probably to establish dominance in the interview by sitting above me. I can’t wait to hear the questions he’s going to ask.

“What do you know about Google besides searching for porn?”

Bingo. Funny question, but a problem for me since at that time this actually was all I knew about Google. I knew the term “Adwords” so I figured I could bullshit my way through this.

“Well I am familiar with using Adwords to…”

Nope, he cuts in to this Bullshit tango, and boy, is he irate.

“See that’s my problem with colleges, they don’t do a good enough job teaching kids how to use Google. I’m not yelling at you it’s just so frustrating since it’s such a useful tool.”

He continued for a few more minutes, pausing only to ask me similar questions that I could never answer right. I now understand the Glassdoor reviews.

I also noticed that the nice lady who began the interview was no longer leading the interview. In fact, she hadn’t spoken since the lead doucher entered the room. She seemed to just smile with a hint of shame in her face as if to ponder where she went wrong in her career to end up here. At one point she mouthed something to me. I thought it was a hint to one of the answers, but after taking a closer look, I realized she was mouthing “Get Out”.

Completely content with the notion that I didn’t get this job, I simply nod my head and agree. I smile, thank them for taking the time to meet with me and hurry out in fear that if I stick around any longer I may be stuck working there forever.

Fortunately, I didn’t get the job, they were bought out about a year later, and shut down shortly after that. Or at least that’s what I read when I Googled it.

 

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Silent Riot

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