So, I’m at the bar pounding my 12th beer when some rocket strolls by looking like a tall delectable glass of milk. As appetizing as she may be, I’m at the point where In my night where I need to rip a dart. The question lingers, do I go outside and rip this yolo stick or pursue this pleasant tub of honey. Then it hits me, this isn’t the roaring 20’s, it’s the 21st century. I’ll just catch a buzz ripping my fucking Juul all while striking out with this tasty blonde treat in front of me. Things are going strong, she’s totally playing hard to get but I like my chances. As I’m about to get face palmed by this girl, I let out a sweet vape cloud into the vast audience of the bar. Evidently, mango juul is an acquired taste only for the finest of palettes as you would have thought I shot JFK by the looks I received. Am I really the only Bro that juuls around here? As I stand there in my skinny jeans, oversized t-shirt and purple elastic watch, my mind begins to ponder. Do they even drink IPA’s? I begin to continue with my juul vape tricks, creating the strangest of clouds. I can tell the bar is under the impression I’m being obnoxious. The only thing obnoxious going on is this hole in the wall shit hole doesn’t serve local 9.8 percent IPA’s! I knew I should have stayed I Cali, that’s short for California where I pork only dimes. Shit, these peasants probably don’t even know what global warming is. My mouthwatering juul vape is emission free, cage free and eco fucking friendly. How dare these right wing Trump supporters even gander in my direction. Any of these hillbillies step to me, I’ll beat their ass in my deep V neck. My mind begins to run amuck. If I’m getting stale looks performing my vape tricks in a bar, where else am I going to get judged? Say I’m in traffic court, is the judge really going to citate me for being the fucking man all while ripping my silver edition juul? Am I going to get the thousand yard stare from nurses as I puff the sweet goodness in the delivery room when my child is born from my smoke show Cali wife? I bet they haven’t even been to Coachella. If you have yet to see lil Xanax perform live, you’re opinion is irrelevant to me. Fuck this, I’m just going to catch the next tasty wave back to Cali where I can enjoy my $20 IPA and juul in peace. In conclusion, it may be obnoxious to hit a juul in a bar but let me ask you, do you even club bro!?
Categories: Cubicle Chatter