After making us suffer for nearly 2 years, HBO and its prominent series Game of Thrones is back. Can I get a frick yeah!? Game of Thrones is arguably the most popular show in modern history and perhaps of all time. Nudity, incest, graphic killings, characters getting their privates dismembered and heads crushed in. It takes a sick person to watch this show and and I can’t even imagine the type of childhood George R. R. Martin had to write this sick shit, but yet, here we all are on the edge of our seat anxiously pondering, who will take their place on the iron Throne? Who will it be? Cersi? Night king? Hot Pie??? Check out our theories below on who will end up on the throne, who will die and most imporetently… whose getting naked on screen. Merits are based on a 1-10 scale.

Daenerys Targaryen

Superlative: Most likely to have sex with their Nephew

      Iron Throne odds: 7/10

     Death: 5/10

     Chance of Nudity: 3/10

Jon Snow

       Superlative: Most Likely to have sex with their aunt 

       Iron Throne odds:8/10

     Death: 5/10

    Chance of Nudity: 0/10- HBO hates showing penis

 Sansa Stark

        Superlative: Most Likely be married two times before the age of 22

      Iron Throne odds: 8/10

     Death: 2/10

    Chance of Nudity: 0/10

 

Arya Stark

        Superlative: Most likely to be a two-faced person (get it!!??)

       Death: 6/10

       Iron Throne Odds: 2/10

     Chance of Nudity: 0/10 Bran Stark

         Superlative: Most likely to be the Zodiac killer

        Death: 4/10

       Iron Throne odds: 5/10

     Chance of Nudity: 0/10

   Chance of being the night king: 99/100

 

Cersei Lannister

        Superlative: Most likely to bang their brother and piss off all of Westeros 

       Death: 10/10

     Iron Throne odds: 0/10

     Nudity: 8/10

 

Jamie Lanister

         Superlative: Most Likely to suck as a freshmen but by Senior year, most of the school   likes him

        Iron throne odds: 2/10

       Nudity:0/10

      Death: 8/10

 

Tyrion Lanister

Superlative: Most likely to get drunk and piss their pants

Iron throne odds: 6/10

Nudity: 0/10

Death: 6/10

 

Brienne of Tarth

Superlative: Most likely to play catcher on the women’s high school softball team

Iron throne: 0/10

Nudity: 0/10

Death:4/10

 Bronn

        Superlative: Most likely to be arrested for soliciting prostitution

       Iron Throne: 0/10

     Nudity:0/10

   Death: 6/10

 Theon Greyjoy

  Superlative: Most likely to find Viagra useless

        Iron Throne: 0/10

       Nudity: His penis is gone so 0/10

      Death: 8/10

 

Yara Greyjoy

Superlative: Captain of the wrestling team

         Iron Throne: 0/10

        Nudity: 3/10

      Death: 8/10

 Euron Greyjoy

        Superlative: Most likely to be expelled from school for starting a riot

      Iron Throne: 0/10

   Nudity: 1/10

  Death: 9/10

Samwell Tarly

       Superlative: Most Likely to be the most unlikely one to point out that fornicating wasn’t exactly against the nights watch vow 

     Iron Throne: 2/10

    Nudity: 6/10 (Gilly Gilly) 

  Death: 1/10

The Hound

       Superlative: Most Likely to  make you laugh by saying the c word 

      Iron Throne: 0/10

   Nudity: 1/10

  Death: 9/10

 

The Mountain

Superlative: Voted most likely to beat up the principal in highschool

Iron Throne: 0/10

Nudity: is he a robot? 

Death: 9/10

 

Tormund Giantsbane

Superlative: Most likely to get caught putting video cameras in the womens locker room

Iron throne: 0/10

Nudity: 1/10 

Death: 9/10

 Jorah Mormont

Superlative: Most Likely to get Friend Zone/Cucked

Iron throne: 0/10

Nudity: 3/10 

Death: 9/10

 

The red women

Superlative: Most Likely to Burn You Alive

Iron throne: 9.6/10

Nudity: 10/10

Death: 9/10

 

Gendry

Superlative: Most likely to disappear and randomly play a major role 

Iron throne: 6/10 

Nudity: 5/10 (people forget the red woman rode him early in the show) 

Death: 4/10

 

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Co-Written by the Parlay Prince

 

Co written by Clarky