Cubicle Chatter

Game of Thrones Businesses that Need to Exist

Last night the final season of Game of Thrones debuted, putting an end to our 2 year wait. Over the next month we will completely consume our lives with fan theories and predictions until we bear witness to the series finale, ending our 8 year addiction. But there’s no reason the addiction has to end. It’s obvious that Game of Thrones is a cash cow and people will do anything to get there fix once our HBO dealers cut us off. This provides a great opportunity for entrepreneurs to create some new businesses that let us relive the fun of Game of Thrones. Normally we hate big business, but here’s some businesses we wouldn’t mind giving all our money:

1. GOT Themed Strip Clubs

It’s a total mystery why this hasn’t caught on more. Could you imagine how much fun Game of Thrones night would be at Mons Venus? We’ve already seen most of the characters naked anyway, why not let some amateurs dress up as their favorite characters and twerk it on stage to “dun dun duhduhdun dun duhduhdun dun” (you know exactly what song I mean). There’s strippers for everyone. Got a thing for Red Heads? Welcome to the stage Lady Sansa, Queen of the North and warden of the pole. Blondes? Queen of the Waggin Dragons. Incest? Jaime and Cersei. Shorties? Tyrion. Tall Girls? Brienne of Tarth. Scarred? The Hound. Not interested in any Game of Thrones theme and just want to see naked dancers? Then no worries, a girl has no clothes. See, it’s fun for the whole family.

2. GOT Bars

We’ve seen some Game of Thrones themed bars popping up which is hopefully the start of a lasting trend. I mean what would be better than a local bar where you can have endless wine and yell “shame” at all the creepy patrons. Sure going full on Medieval themed may be a little extreme, but that’s the type of old school party we need. At the very least, regular bars should entertain the thought of having Game of Thrones themed nights. Better yet, they should have streaming parties where they offer to show full seasons charging a flat cost that includes all you can eat and drink. If something like this existed we could binge watch our favorite shows in public and be somewhat sociable. Now that’s killing two white walkers with one dragon stone.

3. GOT Larping Courses

Believe it or not Larping is a real thing and while it looks ridiculous, it’s exactly what we’ve been watching in Game of Thrones. Besides the nudity, the sword play and violence were some of the best parts of the series. That is exactly what Larping is all about. Just like paintball, there needs to be Larping facilities that let you rent the equipment and host different themed courses like the battle of the bastards, the battle of blackwater, or the red wedding.

4. GOT Medieval Times

We all loved the classic Medieval Times show as kids. It’s basically the same thing as Game of Thrones though, so why not give the traditional show a little revamp and make it just for adults. Add more violence. Add more nudity. Definitely add more booze. Sure things may get out of hand. But if any guests get too rowdy, throw them in the ring to face off against the Mountain.

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Silent Riot

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