Cubicle Chatter

The UBER Chronicles

Welcome to our first segment of “The UBER Chronicles” UBER has changed the drunk transportation game forever. Saving millions of people from drunk driving, absurd taxi rides and unplanned pregnancies. Not sure how the last one corelated into this but you get the point. Although, UBER is a phenomenal commodity to our day to day life, some of the drivers behind the wheel may very well be the Zodiac Killer. We all hear some absurd shit, rambles and offbeat comments from UBER drivers. These are their stories.

All UBER chronicles are real stories sent in anonymously

Time: is 9:32 pm

Uber driver: Mary  

 

It was 9:32 P.M when Mary pulled up. She informed me she was 45 but looked as she may have been in her early thirties. I thought to myself, I have a slight chance as long as she didn’t look in the rear view mirror and see my stomach hovering over my belt. The conversation progressed lightly until it took a deep turn south. We started getting into the birds and bees about how much she enjoyed partaking in heavy partying. A wisp grin overcame me, the deal was sealed, I just may have a shot.

Then she asked me if I did drugs, I don’t but in order to save face with Mary, I exclaimed yes! In a flirtatious way, she stated if I needed any,  she could hook it up. Oh really, Mary? Shit, Maybe she is a cop, setting me up. I’ve seen this shit on reality TV. Look what happened to Robert Kraft.

She then responds, yes honey,  my son gets me all the goodies. Son? Oh boy.  I then proceeded to ask, how old is your son, Mary? The response was bewildering as she said 29. Look, I failed math but that would make Mary 16 when she had her son and now he sells drugs. Call me crazy but my slight chances just sky rocketed to maybe. She dropped me off and said call her if I needed anything. Well Mary, I don’t need your sons drugs but if you’re looking for an average time, I’m yours.”

UBER rating:3.7 stars on the basis it’s probably like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.

Be sure to send in your UBER stories here

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The Temp

 

 

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