Cubicle Chatter

An Open Letter to the A**holes who email on Holidays

Let me start off by saying, if you have the audacity to send me a work related email on the Fourth of July, You’re a monster. If you expect me to respond on the 5th of July, then you’re out of your  mind. There’s two types of people in the world.: Chubby  average looking people like myself and then there’s the vile creature that finds it acceptable to email on holidays. There a special realm in the fiery pits reserved for the atrocity that is your kind. 52 weeks, 260 days, 2,340 hours a year I have to deal with your  bulltrash. 11. Do you know what that stands for? The amount of holidays I get per year. You just couldn’t wait until tomorrow could you? Like Paul Revere alerting his comrades back in 1776, you feel the same sense of urgency when it comes to firing off emails. You Repugnant snakes can’t even comprehend how upset you make me.  

Emailing  on a nationally celebrated holiday Is honestly the most disrespectful thing you can do. Not to me but to our forefathers many moons ago. These are glorious days where we as America despite all our differences become unified watching Joey Chestnut engulf 69 hotdogs blackout drunk on Budweiser’s all while remembering thos who gave the ultimate scacrifise. You may as well be slapping George Washington in the face. Its’ an act of treason if you ask me and I hope sometime in the near future you come down with a horrible case of Ebola. If you as so much even fathom the thought of emailing me on Christmas, I’ll poop in your stocking. Don’t be a hero, heed my words and stop emailing me, or else…..

Written by clarky

Categories: Cubicle Chatter

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