It’s Sunday morning. I have what feels like Nic Cannon in my brain reprising his role in Drumline and an angry Russian punching my gut like it’s Apollo Creed. Needless to say, I’ve been better, but I have been here before. In fact, after years of drinking, I’ve been here more times than I like to admit and as I get older it doesn’t get better. In fact, these hangovers seem to be getting worse. While I sit here now, praying to the Lord to make the suffering stop, I wonder if there’s anything I could have done to prevent this hangover.
Well, the internet has some theories that we may need to put to the test.
1. Don’t Drink
This is by far the most ridiculous recommendation on the internet and probably the only one we won’t try. Abstinence may not be fun but considering there’s no full proof cure, not drinking may actually the best way to avoid a hangover. Think about it: you can’t suffer from a hangover if you have nothing to be hungover from. I know, it’s stupid. Let’s explore other options.
2. Drink in Moderation
Slightly better than complete abstinence, this is the closest thing to having our cake and eating it, too. I’m sure most of you didn’t even know it was possible to drink in moderation. Up until now you thought the only two options were don’t drink or blackout. But I’m here to tell you it’s possible. Difficult, but possible. If you want to prevent a hangover, drink less and definitely don’t black out.
3. Stay Hydrated
Alcohol is a diuretic, which is why you have to pee so much when you drink. But all that peeing means your body is losing fluids which leads to dehydration. While dehydration does not cause hangovers, it can contribute to many of the symptoms such as dry mouth, fatigue, and headaches. In regards to the hangover, dehydration may be the easiest to prevent or cure. While you drink and before you go to bed drink plenty of water. Continue this as you wake up and even compliment with some Pedialyte to help accelerate the process. We were always advised to stay hydrated while playing sports and even though it’s not in the Olympics just yet, drinking is a sport so we should treat it as such.
4. Hit the snooze button
Experience shows that waking up early and trying to be productive after a night of drinking does nothing to prevent a hangover. In fact, it could make the symptoms worse. If you’re not getting a full night sleep, you could be contributing to the fatigue which makes everything feel worse the next day. Instead of waking up early, try hitting the snooze button and giving the body the time it needs to recover.
5. Eat a Big Breakfast
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day and when it comes to hangovers that is especially true. Many of the symptoms of a hangover are caused by low blood sugar, also known as hypoglycemia. To prevent, simply eat a large breakfast or late night cheat meal to provide the nutrients the body needs. Eating as a preventative measure? I can get on board with that.
6. Avoid Congeners
I don’t know what a congener is but apparently science has proven these can contribute to hangovers. By avoiding these congeners, you can reduce the severity of your hangovers. Do this by focusing on drinks with low congeners like vodka, rum, and gin and avoiding high congener drinks like tequila, whiskey, and cognac.
7. Eat a Greasy Meal BEFORE Drinking
Most people believe that you should eat a large greasy meal to cure a hangover, but the trick is actually to consume greasy foods before drinking. The food and the layer of grease help to slow down the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream. This can certainly slow down how fast you get drunk and could significantly reduce the intensity of the hangover.
8. Stick to Top Shelf
It may be expensive, but top shelf products tend to be filtered more to remove impurities and toxins. These impurities, like the congeners discussed before, could intensify the hangovers. Well drinks may help your pocket, but they won’t help your body. Ball out and play on the top shelf if you want a better morning.
Let’s face it, there’s no cure for hangovers and there’s no way you’re gonna stop drinking. At least you have some ways now to reduce those nasty hangovers.
Categories: Cubicle Chatter