So the other day I was doing the whole tinder/hinge/bumble thing. Since I am not a firefighter, athlete, or musician, I have to get pretty darn creative to try and compete on these things. Instead of getting a thump workout playing hot or not like everyone else, I have to do the mentally exhausting task of reading peoples bios. Long story short, everyone likes brunch, tacos, puppies, avocados, chipotle, and is certainly not on the apps for ‘just hooking up’. While swiping, I came across one girl’s bio that stood out. It had your traditional, “puppies, yayyyy’ and then had a full-blown disclaimer: MUST BE AT LEAST 6-FEET TALL.”
I mean come on. If you meet a nice dude, you guys hit it off and he shows up to the happy hour date and he’s 5’11 what happens?! Do you leave, feeling misled? File a lawsuit? What happens? I totally understand having a preference, especially on the tall side. Hell, I have friends over 6’2 that probably wouldn’t do that well if they were 5’7. Gun to my head, I would choose a girl shorter than me if I was building the perfect match like a build-a-bear workshop. This is more of a plus/minus thing than a dealbreaker. Well, the date was just Ok AND he was under 6 feet so I’ll opt-out in the future. I know girls like tall guys and this is a calculation, but the need to make a full-blown statement on your dating profile just seems a bit excessive.
After seeing this preposterous statement on the girl’s profile, I chose to exploit it and share with the world via my snap chat. It was bad enough that this ruined my day, might as well get some laughs out of my friends. Unfortunately, I chose to vent my frustration and shed light on this matter at the worst possible time. As the bagel boss short guy was going viral across the internet. Although I got the few predictable virtue-signaling responses from girls, “omg, i would never!!!” The conversations then turned to folks comparing me to the bagel man.
So, that backfired. Ladies, if you’re into 5 foot 9 guys, Dusty Cummings is open for business.