It’s typically never a joyous moment to receive a text from your landlord. More times then not, it means one of two things; rents due or something has gone wrong within the home. My household was rather used to these omens by now.

” Why is the water purple?”

“Why does the yard look like a replica of Jumangi? The County Called.”

“Got a call from the neighbors, is there a reason someones truck is parked on the lawn filled to the brim with water?”

For those of you who read the last memoir of the critically acclaimed series; The house that broke me, you’d know I had set the entire front yard on fire on New years Eve. I was able to convince my landlord that we would just wire him rent for the month of January so we had time to come up with a story on why the once green lawn was rubble and ashes.

Fast forward one month later and the dawn of Februrary is upon us. As I was coming home one day from my rigorious class, I spotted a small charcter standing in our front yard. It was Dean. Mother fricking dean. The useless handyman my landlord would deploy if something ever broke, which was all the time. There dean stood on the 30 foot circumference echoing across our yard scratching his head while he chatted on the phone with an unknown person (my landlord)

“I don’t know, I think they may have had a fire.”

I wanted no part of this confirtation so I snuck around back and avoided him completely.

A proactive human would have reached out to our landlord, apolgiezed and tried to make it right.

We were more a reactive household. Do the damage and see if you get caught.

The follwing morning I was awoken by a text message from our landlord.

” Was there a fire on the lawn.”

You can see how I handled the message.


 Just didn’t respond. Like everything, if you avoid your problems long enough… they’ll just go away.

Things we’re pretty rocky for a while between my landlord and our house. It was the first time I thought we legit may get evicted. That day never came. The grass grew back eventually….. 2 years later. Check back next week as we wrap up our last 3 chapters of this saga.



Written by Clarky