Cubicle Chatter

Game Of Thrones Goes Greek

*These are merely based off typically stereotypes and not meant to offend. If you’re offended by this, you’re probably part of the problem and need to grow up.

Some crazy and unexpected shit happened in the world renowned series, Game of Thrones. Horrific deaths, incest, excessive nudity and unwarranted dismemberment. Who knows what went through George R Martins head when he wrote this saga. He is a life long New York Jets fan so maybe that’s the catalyst which drove him over the deep end.

Anyways, I was having some dark thoughts of my own in the cubicle and pondered, what if Game of Thrones rushed Greek life? Could you imagine? Who would pledge what? Who would get black balled? The thoughts ran amuck like Jaime running back to Cersi.

Could you imagine being a pledge and hearing

” I am brother Sir Gregor Clegane. I will be your guide.”

I’d poop my pants.

Below are my thoughts on which Greek life organization suits each GOT character.

Kahl Drogo- House of Pike

Stereotyped as the athletes and avid gym rats of the collegiate campuses, Kahl Drogo fits the Pike motif swimmingly. I mean shit, look at the body, sculpted by the gods themselves. The mighty leader of the dothraki gets a blue chip within the first hour. I imagine he’d be leading the charge in Greek week with his flaming dothraki sword.  Welcome to house of Pi Kappa Alpha.

 

Jaime and Tyrion Lanister- Sigma Chi

Know to be Smug, entitled and to portray questionable drinking habits… my guess is the Lanister boys rush the Blue and gold. With Jamies long golden lettuce, Tyrion’s excessive drinking and their ability to pay dues up front with all that Lannister currency, the King Slayer and imp getthrough unnnamiiously. Despite their drinking habits, most are functioning humans of society. You may have lost your hand Jamie but don’t worry, you can get a sick ankle frat tat instead… or you could just borrow mine. Drunk purchase circa 2012.

 

Daenerys Targaryen- Delta Delta Delta

The dragon queen herself will undoubitly end up pursuing the iron throne of tri delta. With her Blonde hair, (stereotype) the ladies of delta delta delta have their eyes all over this prized little potatoe. Little do they know, she may just burn down the chapter room one day…

If you really want to break the wheel Danny, get rid of social probation.

Cersi- Standards

With a heart as cold as ice, Cersi don’t play no shit. Using Instagram in chapter? Fine. Got too drunk at a social? walk of atonement. Shame shame shame! Speak out against her judgment? Beheaded. I can’t personally vouge for the horrors of standards but I have heard the cries from many about the horrific mischievous acts that go on. Standards is just the worst and so is Cersi.

Disliked by most of the chapter and feared by all of the chapter.

 

 

Sansa Stark- Zeta

 

They say only the best get crowned and that’s all this power hungry ball of redness wants. Queen of the North…or 300 ZTA’s. Sansa fits well into ZTA because she’s smart and probably too attractive to talk to me.

 

John Snow and the rest of the stark men (minus bran)- Kappa Alpha Order

Known to be southern Gentelman, the Starks were regarded as gentlemen of the North. The Starks just want to isolate themselves so they can hunt, drink, eat, fight the white walkers and breed. Similar to KA whose sole purpose is to hunt, fish, drink, spit Copenhagen and listen to Luke Combs while rooting on an SEC school they have little to no  affiliation too.

ROLL TIDE. ROLL STARK.

TKE- Bran Stark

 

I don’t know a whole lot about this organization just like I know nothing about Bran Stark other than he may be the Zodiac Killer. Bran seems like a perfect fit for this unknown tribe of heathens.

Petyr Baelish (little finger) IFC

Despite claiming allegiances to the overall realm, IFC is full of snakes. True politicians which every move they make is for personal gain. Issuing sanctions on one chapter but allowing others to slide. Watch out for IFC, snakes in the grass. Does look damn good on a resume though.

Ramsay Bolton- Director of Greek Life

 

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For the most part, this guy or girl is universally hated. He implimints rules, fines and guidelines to attempt to keep things in order. He sucks and everyone usually hates him/her. Then again, their just doing their job. Pure evil but a necessary evil.

The Night King- The Dean of students

The root of all evil for Greek life. Anytime you have to meet with this person, it’s doomsday. The long night looms ahead.

Honorable mentions

 

Sir Gregor Clegane-

Pledge educator of Pike.

 Theon Grey Joy

Pledges every fraternity in his 4 years, never gets in.

  Jorah Mormont

The old House cook for Tri Delta who is solely there to get friend zoned by Danny.

 Arya Stark-

Sneaks into Kappa Sigma disguised as a male. No one notices. She becomes chapter president sophomore year.

Euron Greyjoy

 

The one non fraternal man that somehow shows up to every social and managed to ruin it.

Hot Pie

The overweight guy who everyone loves. His nickname is most likely HAM.

Melisandre

Standards chair 2.0. She burns people alive just like standards.

Walder Frey

The 6th year senior that never seems to graduate but manages to creep out all the freshmen each year

Joffrey Baratheon

The one kid the entire fraternity hates but managed to get in because his daddy was a legacy.

Bronn

The one Brother who contributes nothing to the chapter and is solely there to party

Beric Dondarrion

 

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The one brother who you think is going to miss chapter every week because he died at the bar Saturday night. Yet, there he is, back from the dead siting in his pin ordered seat.

Tormund Giantsbane

 

The Brotherhood chair of your fraternity. Loud, vile, despised by sororities but loved by his fraternity.

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Written by Clarky

 

 

Categories: Cubicle Chatter

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