The Artic tundra is real over in the nations capitals right Now as reports of snow flurries have submerged. Our beloved second line center has gotten himself into some turmoil as of recent. By turmoil, I of course mean the booger sugar Evgeny Kuznetsov has been plundering up his nostrils. A viral video surfaced early this summer where the star center was spotted in a video where some powdery white substance was evident. Naturally, everyone is an expert since Narcos premiered and he was quickly outed for being around the white lightning. Kuznetsov was quick to deny the allegations of using narcotics.

” I have nothing to hide. I never took drugs. Test me.”

Well, they frigging did and the cocaine capital popped positive for that powdered Russian vitamin.

The USSR has already taken action by suspending Kuzy for 4 years. Good news for Caps fans, He wont be leaving voluntarily to play in the KHL anytime soon. Bad news? Getting caught with cocaine is never an ideal situation for a premiere athlete.

Much of the public is up in arms about his actions and the use of illegal drugs. The NHL has taken no action at this time as, technically, it is not a performance enhancing drug. Is it fair Will Grier took a Flintstone vitamin and got suspended for the rest of Florida’s season and Kuzzy is eligible to play still? Probably not. But who the hell am I too judge?

Sure, he did cocaine and yes, it’s a real drug but it’s a delicacy in Russia. I’m certain it’s part of the KETO diet over in Moscow. Ever had a real white Russian? I bet there’s cocaine in there. It’s a way of life across the pond, one in America, we’ll never understand. Shit, I imagine the majority of the NHL would fail a drug test… except for Crosby. I refuse to believe he is cool enough to break the law.

In the end, cocaine is an illegal drug and is a pretty dangerous one if you ask me. Ruins lives daily. It also sets a horrible example for young kids idolizing young superstars like Kuzy. But hey, If OJ can get away with murder, let Kuzy off for murdering his nose. In the end, we all need to be there in support for Kuzy. People make ill advised decisions but they don’t define you as a whole. #freeKuzy

Make better choices, stop snorting shit up your nose and shape up Kuzy, we need 80 points from you.


Stay tuned for next weeks Caps Cubicle where we make some early season predictions for 2019-2020 season.

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Written by Clarky