Cubicle Chatter

Cat’s Cubicle: Raise the flags!

Just when I was ready to give up on my Kitty’s, I recalled, we play the Buc’s today. The Buc’s who just made San Fran’s defense look like it had a beating pulse instead of the 11 traffic cones it usually displays. Is it premature to say we’ll be 1-1 Friday morning? Absolutely not, it’s a guarantee because the Buc’s do what the Buc’s do best… overhype and underperform each and every year. At the dawn of each season, all I hear is how much young talent this team bolsters and this year is different… no doubt there is some young talent shuffled in that roster… yet, what could be holding them back? The crab stealing man himself.

It’s a big year for the UBER affiliate as his rookie deal will come to cease 2020. Do the Bucs stick with it’s 2015 investment or move on to greener, less law-breaking pastures? Because the Buc’s are the Buc’s, there is really only one way this scenario plays out. Jameis absolutely balls out this year, puts up career numbers and the Bucs still go 6-10 for the 9th pick where they can select another under sized corner. After that career year Winston has, management will have but no choice to pay Jameis the big money he earned. The best part is, after getting paid, he’s going to suck it up for the rest of his long tenure in Tampa fully submerging the Bucs into the shit hole they have always been in. This scenario is exactly what a “bucs life” has proven to be. With all the dirty Tampa money come 2020, our boy Winston will be arriving to games in a helicopter, just not ones from UBER. Before any avid Tampa fans get ragging on Carolina, yes, our quarterback is an idiot too and I am sure we’ll finish 7-9 where we can draft another underperforming DT. It’s going to be a battle of the Einstein’s come Thursday night. Who will split the atom first? Newton or Winston??? A real Clash of the Titans!

Here’s why My kitties are going to claw some holes into those buccaneers. Do yourself a favor, Raise the flags… the surrender flag cause we’re coming to claw that ass!

  •  Stealer of Crab Legs and strong hater of UBER drivers. This is the House of Winston. Long may he reign.
  • Ronald Jones and Payton Barber are less effective than McCaffery with zero limbs
  • Your best corner is 5 foot 7.
  • You’re quarterback has stolen more crab legs than playoff wins
  • Last time you won the NFC South, George Busch was still president.(2007)
  • Since 1976 you have 6 playoff wins. You do have  Super bowl though, credit given when credit is due.
  • You fired the nicest guy in the world, Tony Dungy
  • Last year, you literally we’re giving away tickets because fans would rather go watch the Lightning on Sunday.
  • Of the past 10 years, you’ve finished last place in the South 8 times.
  • Michael Jackson was still breathing. Nicolas Cage was stealing the declaration and My Chemical Romance was still making music. This is the last time you made the playoffs. 2008.
  • Jameis 40 yard dash is a speedy 4.97.
  • You’re most notable alumni is John Gruden…

Break a leg Jameis but not literally, you’re team might win if you get hurt.

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Clarky

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Cubicle Chatter

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