Yesterday, as I was leaving the store, I noticed an odd looking family walking across the parking lot. The redneck mom leading the pack with a flowery tramp stamp was followed by 3 redneck kids. They varied in age with the oldest probably in high school and the youngest probably in junior high, but they all had something in common: they were all drinking Bang Energy drinks.

Now of course it’s not my place to pass judgement. I don’t have kids and I certainly don’t know the first thing about being a parent. But I can tell you for a fact that those kids should NOT be drinking Bang Energy drinks the same way they would drink a Red Bull.

I’ve consumed a lot of energy drinks over the years, including Bang Energy, and let me tell you, all energy drinks are not the same, especially Bang Energy. These drinks are designed for trips to the gym, not for those times when you want a little boost energy. However, with their brilliant marketing strategy, Bang Energy has been able to rebrand themselves from an effective preworkout to an essential energy booster.

How did they do this? Simple. Check their social media. They somehow convinced every Instagram model to model off their products. Originally it started with them drinking Bang energy and then working out in a gym. These workouts were not very intense, but at least it portrayed the right picture. Now, these models don’t even show them exercising. Instead, they sip bang energy and take a leisure walk on the beach, a fun casual dip in the pool, or anywhere else you would normally wear a bikini, but nothing that would require any real energy to do. If you look closely, you’ll notice that none of these models actually drink it, they just put a closed can to their mouth and smile.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ads. I’m a firm believer that sex sells, so if an Instagram model tries to sell me anything, chances are I’m buying it. And believe me, I have, several times. I actually like Bang Energy drinks. The flavors are better than any other dink I’ve ever had and it without a doubt gives me a mega energy boost. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a great product. I’m not saying don’t buy it. I’m just saying don’t believe the ads.

So what? They drink energy drinks to chill. We all do right? But it’s not what you want to drink for any leisure activities. Don’t believe me? Just watch any of their promo events on their actual Instagram profile. Notice how all their reps keep shuffling and bouncing all over the place? That’s because they couldn’t stop moving even if they tried.

I guess the moral of the story is buy all the Bang energy you want, but don’t buy into the ads. If you want to look like those Bang Energy models, then you’re gonna have to do a lot more than just walk on the beach. Otherwise, you’ll just end up like a redneck family walking in a parking lot.

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Silent Riot