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New Year, Same Shit: 3 resolutions you won’t keep.
The dawn of a new decade is upon us and it’s time to take back your life! No more toxic relationships, you’re finally going to stand up to your boss and you’re going to get that raise you rightfully deserve. Whatever your new year resolution is, I truly hope it does come to light for you and 2020 becomes YOUR year! That being said, some of those more minor resolutions, we as Americans think we can accomplish, we never truly do. Below are 3 things each year we swear we’ll do, but never accomplish.
1. The freaking DIET
No matter if you are obese or look like you’re on the champagne and cocaine diet, people want to change their mischievous deeds and become healthy. Whether it’s KETO, no carbs, or the skinny girl vodka diet- people will spend infamous money to achieve “health” just to revert back to their old ways come February 2nd. In todays world, theres just too many delicious temptations to keep a functioning diet while remaining social. When Martha brings in her double fudged brownies your soul isn’t screaming on the inside just to take a scrumptious lick? Or when Italian Tony brings in his home made Calzone, you’re not going to divulge in that marinara infused goodness? Working a full time job while balancing a healthy lifestyle is not practical because everyone else isn’t on the same diet you are. Some people don’t give a shit about health and they’ll drag you down to the depths of obesity with them. Guess what? I’m sinking with the rest of them. Heres to eating whatever I want, when I fricking want.
2. The Gym
Crossfit is salivating right now just ready to sink it’s treacherous jaws into the hearts of all you lazy 2019’er’s.
“$180 a month, a kettle bell and you’ll be breaking boulders by march!”
If you want to take your life back, exercise and flex your tricep in the mirror, I can’t fault you for that. You’re a better man or women than I. However, all of you who bulked up on GNC’s Christmas sale and relentlessly post updates of your “health journey” for 31 days in January will be vastly disappointed when your 5 day regime quickly turns to once a month. Hey, if you can keep up the fitness grind like the health radiating human you are, all the power to you. With a full time job, big boy responsibilities and bills….. it’s just a 2 day a week at Planet Fitness for me plus a free pizza Monday because Planet Fitness is for the PEOPLE!
3. Drinking and going out less
I don’t ponder anyone enters the dawn of a new decade thinking, “shit, I really should drink more.” Nay, most people enter the new year attempting to erase the habits that riddle their bodies. One of those, is to digress their drinking. As young professionals, society typically doesn’t confuse us for drinking moderately. Nay, with our high stressed jobs, lack of funds and still trying to figure out this drug we all call life, most of us cope in the sorrows of alcohol. Sure, I’d love to limit going out twice a month or not having 3 beers after getting off work but with todays stressful 7-6 work life, it’s a tough feat.
If you’re able to live a full work, life, balance without binge drinking due to stress, then you may have this drug called life figured out. Here’s to 2020 Jockeys and happy new year!