Ahh it’s that time of year again…Super Bowl Sunday. For guys, it’s the equivalent of the Bachelor finale. But for girls, we like to see it as a culmination of all our hard work. And by hard work I’m referring to 17 Sundays spent watching your boyfriend scream bloody murder into the TV while we could have been having a peaceful brunch. If you’re like me, then you’ve probably done a few Google searches in the last six months to get through the basics. For example, “How long is a football game?” and “Alexa, please tell me the Panthers don’t play until Monday.” Super bowl Sunday, however, is a different kind of ball game (literally) so I thought I would share a glimpse into my stream of consciousness to see if any of you ladies out there can relate.

1.“Dear lord, please don’t make me sit next to the girlfriend who actually likes football”

2. “Sh*t, I wonder if I put too many layers in the bean dip”

3.“I wish my boyfriend was rooting for the other team, I would much rather be wearing their colors”

4.“I wonder if Jlo and Shakira got along during rehearsals”

5.“Oh ok, he’s cheering so something good must have happened. Woohooo and clap.”

6.“When will the commercials come back?”

7.“They know that the players can’t actually hear them, right?”

8.“Aww, that guy seems nice. They should throw the ball to him.”

9.“YES JLO! I better look like that at 50…”

10.“Wait, where’s A-Rod?”

11.“What do the players do if they have to pee?”

12.“Do they all wear cups or is that a bulge? Is that a weird question to ask out loud?”

13.“Those pants must be awful to get off. I wore ones similar for Gasparilla last year and let me tell you they were a b*tch.”

14.“Ahh please don’t let the team my boyfriend is rooting for lose”

15.“Wow that’s pretty cool they keep track of all those little lines that pop up on the TV”

16. “I feel so bad for the guys on the sidelines. It reminds me of people not making mat on Cheer.”

17. “Phew, game is over. Bring back farmers market Sundays!”

Screen Shot 2020-01-28 at 9.03.58 PM

Written by It’s Business Bitch