On 8/13 I composed an article after 7 beers, two glasses of Franzia mixed in with some  Vietnam opiates and thought I’d compose the article nobody asked for.

EARLY NHL PREDICTIONS.

Being the NHL season only has 20 something games left, I thought I’d dive into how horribly wrong my predictions were. Below are my outlandish thoughts and how accurate/horribly wrong they became.

 

1.The Blues do NOT repeat as Stanley Cup Champions

Probably wrong. The Blues are in first in the West

 

2.Florida Panthers make a wild card spot

Right. Third in the Atlantic

3.Phil Kessel wins a hot dog eating contest in the Desert

Yet to compete. TBD

4.Ovechkin wins the Rocket Richard

Currently at 36, one behind Pasta. Possibly right

5.Joe Thornton does not retire at the end of the year and plays until he develops Alzheimer’s in 2034. The Sharks still are without a Stanley cup

Being the Sharks are 10 points out of the wild card, correct.

6.Tom Wilson becomes the first player to take off his skate and attack an opposing player since Happy Gilmore

TBD

 

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7.Joel Queenville wins the Jack Adams

Front runner as of now. correct

8.Barry Trotz will be outed for who he really is…. The Travelocity Nome.

Investigation pending

9.Corey Perry will have a bounce back year despite having the most punch able face in hockey

13 points. big flop.

10.Torts will offend someone within the media.

100%

11.The Predators will not get over the hump

4 points out of the wildcard. correct

12.The Lightning will win the presidents trophy, the only banner they will raise in 2020.

8 points out from first place. They are hitting stride. They may win the cup, IDK.

13.Nathan McKinnon will lead the league in points

3rd in scoring but Mcdavid and Drea are unreal. Most likely wrong.

14.Brad Marchand grows up from licking players… he is now giving over the pants hand jobs at the hashmarks.

rumors are speculating but nothing confirmed.

15.Don Cherry continues his vendetta with the Hurricanes.

Well, he was fired so…. correct?

16.The Sabers miss the playoffs again.. 9 seasons and running

10 points out…. correct.

17.Jake Guentzel is outed for who he really is ….. Beavis and butthead.

Ongoing investigating.

18.The Maple Leaf’s become loaded with more primidone’s than the LA Lakers. Have fun in cap hell.

lol. Close to missing the playoffs and fired a hall of fame coach. leafs being leafs.

19.After missing the playoffs again, Patrick Kane goes back to his old ways and beats up a cab driver.

Not confirmed.

20.The Canucks stay irrelevant.

Dead wrong. First in the PAC

21.The Caps win the Metro

First place in the league and Metro. Right

22.Lighting win the Atlantic

5 points behind Bruins. Wrong.

23.The Flames win the Pacific

2 points behind the Van. Pending.

24.The Stars win the Central.

Wrong. go blues.

25.Todd Reirden gets outed for who he really is…. Woolly Willy

Pending

26.Brett Hull gets so drunk at a blues game he pisses his pants.

Will definitely happen.

27. The Leafs lose to the Bruins again….

Time will tell.

28.Lightning Win the East

Wrong

29.Calgary wins the West

Wrong.

30.Dallas Wins the Cup. I know, bold.

Probably wrong.

Comment below your predictions for this upcoming season

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Written by Clarky