All right, Bachelor Nation – we are back for round two tonight. Cheers to another 2 hours of Kelsey’s “emotional breakdowns”, Tammy preparing to throw some punches, and McKenna’s tongue twisting facial reactions.

  1. Oh god, one second in, and Peter is already speaking Spanish again. Did no one sign the petition to ban him from speaking a second language?
  2. “Our relationship started out so strong” – McKenna proceeds to cry. Again. Also, McKenna the only interaction you’ve had with Peter is when taught him the Electric Slide.
  3. Hannah Ann, here’s some Spanish for you to learn: “Adios, Pedro.”
  4. I am embarrassed for everyone in the crowd who just had to watch Peter and Hannah Ann “dance” around the drummers.
  5. WHY am I watching two people make out with hot dog condiments all over their face?
  6. “I completely put myself out there” – Hannah Ann as she cries in front of Peter. Also me, after I asked the Taco Bell drive-thru worker to marry me.
  7. “Victoria F, I feel like we didn’t get a fair shot” – That’s the understatement of the century, Peter. Especially since your first date involved awkward grinding in front of her last fling.
  8. McKenna getting cast as the maid is the most accurate casting I’ve ever seen. These producers need a raise.
  9. Kelley is the realest one out there. I would say #Kelley4Bachelorette, but she’s way too smart to ever decide to voluntarily go on this show again.
  10. Watching Grey’s Anatomy does not qualify you to be a nurse in a telenovela, Sydney.
  11. Apparently, McKenna doesn’t care that she finally gets to kiss Peter after he’s made out with literally everyone BUT her AND he has other women’s lipstick all over his face.
  12. Victoria P, girllllll, if he takes this long of a pause to figure out his thoughts for you, he’s probably not in love with you.
  13. Also, please stop wearing these glasses because every time you wear them, I think Demi is back on the show to screw with everyone.
  14. Wait, Madison is still on this show? Just kidding. But seriously, I haven’t seen her since episode 1.
  15. Guess she’s keeping out of the drama and being *real and genuine*
  16. Tammy coming out strong trying to get literally every other person in this house to hate her.
  17. Honestly kinda upset that McKenna didn’t throw her glass of wine in Tammy’s face. The Bachelor turned Bad Girls Club.
  18. For the love of God, stop speaking Spanish, Peter!
  19. Which of Victoria F’s exes will show up on this date?
  20. Watching Victoria F’s date is so hard for me because I’ve read the spoilers. I promise I won’t spoil anything but anyone who is loving Peter and Victoria F right now, buckle your seat belts because the next few episodes are WILD.
  21. It’s very hard to take Peter seriously when he’s wearing a cardigan and has a Band-Aid on his forehead.
  22. I don’t have much to say about this date with Victoria F. I’m bored. Let’s spike her wine with some Adderall and birth control.
  23. HAHAHA the infamous 2 on 1 “date” and it’s McKenna AND Tammy. Thank god for Bachelor producers.
  24. Can’t wait for Tammy to be on the hot seat on the Women Tell All. Sh*t is going to hit the fan.
  25. McKenna clapping for Tammy going home not realizing she’s about to go home is priceless.
  26. McKenna is not a trophy wife. She is the trophy wife’s personal assistant.
  27. Honestly, I am going to miss McKenna’s facial reactions, but see you in Paradise this summer!
  28. Raise your hand if you feel personally victimized by ABC for making you watch 5 hours of the Bachelor this week.

 

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Ray Charles