Welcome back, Bachelor Nation! It’s the week before hometowns, so things are going to get real interesting. In other Bachelor news this past weekend – Peter plans on calling Sydney out at the Women “Tell All” for her split personalities on the show, Peter also starred in a pottery 101 commercial while half naked, and the Reddit theories on the final winner have become more ridiculous as the season goes on.

 

  1. I’ve got subtitles on and the first scene’s music said “lilting flute music” – Is this The Lord of the Rings?
  2. I’m ready for them to not be in a Spanish speaking country because I don’t know how much longer I can take of Pedro.
  3. Watching these girls comment about how cute the hotel is reminds me of sorority recruitment when PNM’s would comment about how cute my 12×12 jail cell of a room was.
  4. Take a shot every time Madi says the word “like”.
  5. But, also I’m glad Madi is getting some actual screen time.
  6. “Oh, a boat? Wanna go fishing?” – how spontaneous and not planned of you Peter.
  7. “I never want to stop kissing you” – Peter, even though he told Sydney last week that she was the best kisser ever.
  8. Has Natasha even spoken to Peter besides the time she called him out for giving Alayah a rose?
  9. The more I watch Peter dance on his 1-on-1 dates, the more uncomfortable I get.
  10. “We are having a dinner under stars, but don’t eat any of this – its just for show. You can drink all the alcohol though in case you decide you want to get drunk and tell me you love me.” – Probably Peter.
  11. Is Madi about to be the new Luke P?
  12. “I want my husband to be a spiritual leader” – I guess she hasn’t seen the ABC promo of Peter half naked getting grabbed by 10 different women’s hands.
  13. OH SNAP, Peter just dropped the L word. Hopefully, he only tells Madi this and doesn’t pull a Ben Higgins and tell another girl he loves her too.
  14. Peter and his scar straight up looking like Harry Potter.
  15. “I love that” – Natasha. Also Arie’s favorite phrase during his season.
  16. Peter is twirling around himself instead of twirling Natasha. Girl, you ain’t getting that hometown date.
  17. “My ex boyfriend said I was too intense for him.” – Peter is quietly trying to figure out how to get off this date as fast as possible.
  18. I am so sick of Victoria F being emo AF because she isn’t going to get a 1-on-1 date with Peter. YOU’VE ALREADY HAD TWO, SHUT UP!
  19. I forgot we were still on Natasha’s date, that’s how bored I am.
  20. Does Kelley even still want to be on this show for love or just for the free wine?
  21. YO PETER, don’t pick up the rose if you aren’t going to give it to the girl.
  22. Peter got on his 4 wheeler and left Kelsey in the dust. Smart move for him so we wont have to listen to her A) talk about her missing champagne bottle B) cry C) have a mental breakdown
  23. Is this The Sound of Music? Why are we climbing up a mountain?
  24. Nope, def not the Sound of Music. Maria and the Captain would never make out on the side of a mountain. They also would not be tired after walking up 1/8 of this mountain side.
  25. Now that Kelsey has gotten her Hometown rose, this 3-on-1 date with Hannah Ann, Victoria F, and Kelley is going to be bonkers. Victoria F will somehow manipulate and cry her way to a hometown date
  26. Kelley, when have you not been annoyed on this show?
  27. Kelley about to pull a Cady Heron and throw one of the girls in front of the bus. I’m here for this.
  28. Kelley napping while Peter talks to the “children” is a vibe.
  29. Hannah Ann dotted her “I” with a heart. I feel like this is how Elle Woods wrote on her first day of law school when she showed up with a tiny notebook and furry pink pen.
  30. Emo Victoria F is back. She has had more meltdowns than Kelsey at this point.
  31. “How are we doing?” Victoria F immediately starts crying.
  32. “Every time we talk, you’re always in a mood” – Victoria F really went there.
  33. Damn, Bachelor producers coming hard with this edit on Kelley.
  34. “I’m an attorney” – Kelley. “What, like it’s hard?” – Hannah Ann probably
  35. The way to Peter’s heart is through lots and lots of tears. Kelley you better start showing some emotion so you get the last rose.
  36. “Hannah Ann, I appreciate your honesty. Even though you told me last week that you have never been in love, but twitter dug up your old Instagram captions with your ex boyfriend and you maybe loved him” – Peter
  37. Hannah Ann and Kelsey are screaming and hugging each other even though they were “bullying” each other over a champagne bottle two weeks ago.
  38. See y’all next week for hometowns!

 

ray

Ray Charles