V day is finally here and love is in the air… except if you’re one of those lonely piles of misery that spends Valentines day alone……This article…. is for you. Below is a full list of events you can partake instead of using your tears as lubricant. Use this a guide so you spend this glum day telling people you’re single by choice #SEXLESSINSEATTLE

  1. Hooters

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Nothing says single like boobs, wings and beer. Hooters is here for all you singular people who need to drown your sorrows in a plate of hot wings. Buy 10 wings, get 10 wings when you shred a picture of your EX. Nothing says closure like destroying a portrait of your past lover. Happy shredding.

2. San Antonio Zoo

Nothing says you’re over your ex like purchasing a rat, naming it after your ex that you’re so over and then feeding it to a snake all the meanwhile live streaming it on Instagram. Yeah Karren, you showed Brad! That’s step 5 of the 6 degrees of separation.

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3. Burger King

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Nothing says thriving like polishing off a whopper and BK fries all the while swapping a picture of your ex for some delicious $3.50 ground beef. The BK lounge is here for you, here for us all. Enjoy this tasty treat alone.

Well that’s really about it for you the singles to do on Valentines day. I recommend staying inside, ordering a box of pizza and drowning yourself in a bottle of wine while watching the Break Up on repeat. Happy V day.