Ok, guys. THIS. IS. IT. Tonight we finally get to see who Barb is hysterically crying about, if Madi will ever get over Peter being a horn dog, if Hannah Ann is actually a real life American Girl Doll, and if this season really is the most dramatic season ever!

  1. 4 hours of the Bachelor this week                                   KOMBUCHA
  2. If Peter added a white blazer to this pink shirt/white pants combo, he could be the Don Johnson of Australia.

  3. Whoever was in charge of dressing Barb needs to be fired.

  4. Why are Peter’s pants so short?

  5. Can we switch Peter and his brother so I don’t have to look at his scar anymore?

  6. Peter’s parents clearly know how much Peter loves sex…I mean they were clapping and screaming when they found out he had sex with Hannah B in a WINDMILL.

  7. Since when is Peter a sweetheart? Barb please rewind this whole season and start over.

  8. “It’s no fun singing a love song when you’re not in love” – Definitely not watching Listen to Your Heart.

  9. Oh, Hannah Ann is already crying. This is going to be gold.

  10. “You have so many layers” – Hannah Ann to Peter. Also, Donkey to Shrek.

  11. Peter’s brother is definitely regretting not pregaming this.

  12. Plot twist – Hannah Ann ends up with Peter’s brother.

  13. Madi’s lashes are really freaking me out.

  14. Of course, Madi wore black to Peter’s funeral aka their first discussion since he slept with everyone but her.

  15. This meet the parents is not going to end well.

  16. “I could do this forever” – Madi talking about being on the roof of a skyscraper with Peter. YOU. ARE. A. PSYCHO.

  17. “I have zero worries” – famous last words, bud.

  18. OMG, this conversation is so cringy. His parents are NOT ok with this “ultimatum.”

  19. What is “line dancing” code word for?

  20. “She’s a delightful young lady” – Peter’s dad describing Mad. Also, my grandma describing me to literally any guy because she’s tired of me being single.

  21. Wow, Peter’s brother even called him out for being a horn dog. At least, he’s being realistic about Peter definitely not being able to wait for marriage to have sex again.

  22. Barb has 100% confirmed that Peter is a mama’s boy and he can do no wrong, unless he makes a decision that goes against what she wants.

  23. Kudos to Madi for standing up to Barb for what she believes in.

  24. Did Peter just pull a bible verse out of his a** and recite it to Madi like a love poem

  25. OMG IT’S HERE!

  26. BARB IS CRYING

  27. WHO IS SHE???????

  28. WTF?!?!?!?!?

  29. IT’S HANNAH ANN??????

  30. Barb scares the sh*t out of me.

  31. Why do we keep calling Peter “bud?”

  32. “She’s too religious for you” “But also, I prayed last night to God to bring you the right woman” – OK, Barb.

  33. Peter just needs to learn how to make his own decisions and stand up for himself.

  34. Peter posing all thoughtful on the rock like Ariel in The Little Mermaid.

  35. Why is Peter literally wearing the entire Vineyard Vines catalog on this trip?

  36. Did Barb pick out all his clothes?

  37. Oh, Madi is letting Barb get in her head.

  38. Sparkling apple juice confirms that Madi definitely didn’t drink any of the champagne toasts this season.

  39. And…..Pouty Peter is back, just like that.

  40. I feel like this is some corny rom-com where the innocent nerdy girl tries to change the bad boy but this time it’s Spider-lashed Virgin Madi trying to change Fake Harry Potter Horn Dog Peter.

  41. OMG, she’s seriously going home.

  42. UGH I can’t deal with Hannah Ann.

  43. THIS IS A JOKE.

  44. BRING BACK MADI.

  45. Why the f*ck are you wearing a bodysuit and mini skirt in the desert of Australia, Hannah Ann?

  46. I’m already bored of this date.

  47. I refuse to believe Peter picks Hannah Ann.

  48. The way Peter holds Hannah Ann is the way my friends hold me when they know I’m about to fall at the bar and get us all kicked out.

  49. So is Peter not going to tell Hannah Ann that Madi left?

  50. Are they both going to leave?

  51. I’m starting to believe Chris Harrison about this being the most dramatic season ever and I hate myself for it.