Welcome back to another article of Cinema with Clarky. Last week we piffle paddled in the world of GOT. This week, we’re diving balls deep into the best trilogies on the market. Below are the best trilogies you can binge while stuck in your house because some dude ate a f****ng bat because chicken was way too mainstream.
12. Pirates of the Caribbean
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow. In my opinion Johnny Depp’s finest work was portrayed in the Curse of the Black Pearl. If all three films kept the same cultivating pace the first film held, this trilogy would land much, much higher on the list. Alas, here we are, due to a pretty shitty but not completely awful third movie. Fourth movie was an abomination. Cheers to 12th place!
11. The Hobbit
J.R. Tolkien’s classic is brought to life with a curious hobbit names Bilbo who embarks on a very unexpected journey. If you’ve ever dabbled into the world of Tolkien…. it’s comparable to a world where nerds hallucinate on magical mushrooms and whatever comes to their mind during this induced trip comes to life. A little too much of CGI makes this trilogy fall to number 11 but still, a very phenomenally directed trilogy. Problem is, the book was much better.
10. The Matrix
One word. Keaunu Reaves. Okay, two words. MOTHER F***NG MORPHEUS! If this means nothing to you, click the small x in the upper right corner. While you are stuck inside, do yourself a favor, swallow the red pill and unlock some “out there” cinema. Don’t get me wrong, these movies are bizarre but take my word for it, this trilogy is worth the leap.
9. Back to the Future
You can’t mention the word trilogy without referencing Michael J Fox’s finest. Humor, ingenuity and Biff…. yeah remember Hollywood’s first bully? Love that guy. Anyways, this was a staple in my childhood. If you’re from Gen Z google this franchise and buckle up buttercup.
8. The Mighty Ducks
Quack Quack Quack Mother freakers. It’s your local Minnesota childhood gang hitting a local pond near you. Everybody knows who the mighty Ducks are and if you don’t, use this quarantine to evaluate your life choices. Sure some of the hockey drills are absolutely absurd such as using eggs to practice soft hands… but hey, that’s Hollywood baby. Gordon Bombay and his band of ducks land at number 8.
7. Die Hard
The debate ends here, this is a Christmas movie. It’s also a phenomenal trilogy until they decided to make a fourth which is the sole reason this franchise doesn’t land higher on the list. Bruce Willis in his prime kicking ass. Yiipy Ki Yay
6. Toy Story
A film where toys come to life with Tom Hanks and Woody Allen as the stars. What more could you want out of a movie? If we’re solely going off best film, the original Toy Story might go down as the best film of all time. Yet, another example of the following two failing to follow the tremendous lead of the first. Be that as it may, the second and third film are still pretty damn good. Have yet to see the fourth which just came out but I am sure it’s delightful.
5. Indiana Jones
This guy hated snakes before it was cool, chased beautiful women before it was cool and wore a hipster cowboy hat before you Cold brew drinking hippies coined it “cool.” Anyways, I digress. Indiana Jones is an all around American Bad ass. All 3 movies were great and honestly, the third was probably my favorite because of Sean Connery. Once again, this franchise got greedy though and deployed a fourth film with a prehistoric Harrison Ford and unwanted Shia Lebeouf. Stick to 3 damn movies Hollywood.
4. Batman (Christopher Nolan series)
” I’m Not wearing Hockey Pads!.” -Batman
The debate is over, Christian Bale is Batman and Christopher Nolan is the director of the best Batman franchise. Batman Begins, The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. Three great films were beautifully cast with villain’s. Scarecrow ( Cillian Murphy) The Joker (Heath Ledger) and Bane (Tom Hardy)
The Dark Knight alone, stands as one of cinema’s greatest examples of acting by Heath Ledger.
3. Star Wars (Originals)
You really can’t talk trilogy without bringing up this franchise. You could argue, this is the Godfather of Sci- Fi as this was the first successful branch of movies to venture into that realm. Well, maybe star track but that’s for real life nerds. Everybody knows Star Wars but for you young Neanderthal’s, the old films are what makes this list, not that second tier bullshit propaganda the GOT directors pushed out.
2. The God Father
The choice to put this at number 2 rested heavy on my soul. The Godfather acts 1 and 2 are pure classics and every man should be required to watch this film when he exits his mothers womb. I learned more in this masterpiece of a series than I did in 18 years of schooling (Yeah, do the math) The only reason this does not land at number 1 is because of the third film. Again, still a good movie but just nowhere near the caliber of the first two. Before there was Leonardo DiCaprio… there was Marlon Brando. Look him up.
1. Lord of The Rings
One trilogy to rule them all. LOTR lands at number 1 on our list. The reason this landed at the number 1 spot is, you could argue all three movies were the best. The fellowship, the Two Towers and The Return of the Kind are all arguably the best film. Not one of them sucked.
And before you entitled Star Wars nerds come throwing a hissy fit, let me frick you up with some knowledge…
At the end of the day, I don’t care what anyone says, Lord of the Rings is just all around better than Star Wars. It’s directed better, the fight scenes are surreal and the all around story line are just superior. I could get drunk and watch these movies all day and plan to during this Quarantine.
If anything, this film reminds me of modern today. Corona virus is an evil we all want to stop aka Sauron. Frodo and the fellowship of nine are on their way to Mordor to destroy the ring (AKA our doctors coming up with a vaccine)
OK, bit of a stretch, I’m losing my gosh damn mind sitting inside. Anyways, there you have it you dirty hicks, your top trilogies.
Stay tuned next week for another segment of Cinema with Clarky.