The states may have mandated we all wear masks, but they can’t make us wear them all the same. It’s been portrayed that wearing a mask properly could protect you from this pandemic. Not everyone has the same opinion on the subject though, so we get to see all the different ways people wear their masks. That in itself is shocking since these masks up until now only really had one way of being worn. Even though we can’t see your face when you wear a mask, there’s a lot we can tell about you by the way you wear your mask.
The Traditional “Proper” Method
This means you wear the mask as designed. Both mouth and nose are covered with both straps safely secured behind the ears. You do this because wearing as designed is the best way to maximize mask effectiveness. There are a few reasons you might do this. Maybe you’re actually concerned about the pandemic and don’t want to get sick. Maybe you’re just a law abiding citizen just trying to follow the rules. Or maybe you just don’t want to draw attention to yourself by not wearing the mask. Whether you think the mask works or not, you wear it because you can’t waste time getting sick, and even more, you don’t want to waste time interacting with other people. After all socializing is the number one cause for infection (probably). This doesn’t mean you’re antisocial, it just means you’re there to do what you need to and return home.
The Over the Top
This person is either wearing the traditional mask properly with additional protective accessories or has replaced the traditional mask with one that offers more protection. You’ve for sure seen these people. They are the ones wearing the masks under the protective face shields with the gloves. These people are not putting on a show. They are genuinely afraid of the pandemic. In their defense, they might have a prior condition or just be really old. Whatever the reasoning, one thing is for sure, they are not taking any risks. They are there because they NEED to be. They won’t let the covid slow them down, but covid won’t catch them slippin’ either. Probably very lovely people, but they hate you because you’re not taking it as serious as them, so stay 6 feet back. Despite any prior conditions, the way they handle this pandemic shows that they take their own health very serious and probably are usually very healthy people. They also avoid risk whenever possible and tend to play it safe.
The Loosey Goosey
This person wears the mask using the traditional method, but for some reason doesn’t keep it tied tight, so all air that it should be blocked flows in and out freely. When they wear their mask like this you can usually catch a glimpse of their nose and mouth the same way you would with a nipple in a loose shirt. It’s hard to tell if they intentionally wore it loose or if it just became loose over time. We get it, some days it’s just too hot and you need to let a little air in. It’s also possible that they are actually trying to do it right just half assed it. One thing is clear though, they’re not overly concerned about the pandemic. They are wearing the mask just to wear the mask. They don’t think the mask really does anything they just don’t want to be bothered because after all, they are technically wearing the mask, what more do you want. These people are probably care free with most things in their life. They’ll give you help if you ask for it but probably won’t do a good job doing it. Getting the job done is their motto. Getting the job done right is someone else’s problem.
The Under the Chin
Under the chin is how most people wear the mask when they are outside the areas that need to remain sterile. You know, like how you wear the mask in the parking lot as you’re walking up to the store to enjoy your last few minutes of fresh air before putting the mask on correctly. For some people, this is the standard way of wearing the mask all the time. They’re not worried about the pandemic at all but they’re not ready to go to war over it. They wear the mask under the chin so they can breathe freely but if someone approaches them they can quickly pull up to cover their nose and mouth. If their wasn’t such a negative stigma towards people that don’t wear masks they wouldn’t wear a mask. These are the type of people who run their hands under the water without using soap after going to the bathroom just to give the perception that they washed their hands. They’ll follow the rules until their is an opportunity to not follow them. They may follow the rules of the road when there is a cop around, but all other times, fully expect them to view signs as suggestions, run reds whenever possible and never ever use the turn signal.
The Nose Only
For some odd reason, there are people that like to wear the mask in a way that completely covers their nose but leaves their mouth totally exposed. Maybe they feel it’s easier to breathe? Maybe they heard a quote on the news that said it’s easier to contract through the nose, but are also concerned about the flow of oxygen through their mouth? Wearing the mask in this way is completely illogical as it totally renders the mask useless, so it’s really impossible to understand these people. You just know that if you asked them why they wore the mask like that they’d give you a total mind blowing response that makes you wonder how people like that have made it up to this point in their life. Like the way they wear their masks, expect all other things in their life to be illogical or weird. They don’t watch or have Netflix, they’ve never shopped on Amazon, probably think Subway provides quality sandwiches, and fully expect aliens to make contact with us sometime in the near future. What’s worse is that they look at you like you’re the one wearing the mask wrong and will get mad when they can’t hear you speak because your voice is muffled from wearing the mask correctly. They clearly don’t get their medical information from the right sources so best not to take any medical advice from these folks.
No Mask is the Best Mask
No matter how you wear your mask, these people automatically hate you. These are the individuals you’ve seen on the news throwing tantrums because stores won’t let them in without a mask. They absolutely refuse to wear a mask and think we’re all sheep for being at all concerned about our health and for following the government mask mandates. After reading a blurb about the constitution they are ready to debate anyone and everyone as if they went to Harvard law school. This groups hates the “better safe than sorry” mentality and lives for taking risks, but not the good kind that makes them profitable or better off than they were before they started. They only take risks just to prove people wrong, even when it makes no sense to do so. There is a sense of entitlement so strong in these people that they truly believe everyone is out to serve them because hey “the customer is always right”. Any chance they can get to argue their way into a discount or get something free they will do. They argue every time they go to a restaurant and treat the employees like dirt just to get out of paying for the meal or tipping. The Karen’s of the world who argue with the manager because they can’t return the blouse she bought that has no tags and is 2 years passed the 30 day return policy. Even though it’s their weakest quality, they’ll claim to be smarter than everyone else around them and insist their opinion is the voice of reason. The angriest of drunks, they’ll fight the first person that bumps into them. Deep down, there’s a part of us that wants this pandemic to be real just so it can prove them wrong while also proving Darwin right. If you see them in person, don’t even bother arguing. They didn’t go to that store because they need something, they’re there to bait others into giving them what they want, a fight.