Hello bachelorette, my old friend. Can’t believe we are doing this again. I’m annoyed to report that I don’t have any new spoilers so I feel like I have nothing to live for. *sigh*
- Is this the intro to Elle’s Harvard law admissions video?
- Tbh I don’t remember any of these guys.
- Omg Gaston Aka Bennett with his eye glasses.
- Rumor has it that Gaston was engaged less than a year ago.
- Also, idk why they never show the football team that these people played for.
- If I was the bachelorette, that would be something i need to know.
- Def not trying to marry someone on The Washington Football team.
- Is this the live version of Tangled?
- I’m not listening to any of this sh*t.
- Oh god what is happening?!?
- This is so awkward.
- Is this the longest moment of awkward silence ever?
- Possibly even longer than the silence that follows at family holidays when I tell them I didn’t vote for Trump.
- Hey guys did you know Bennett went to Harvard? Yeah me neither.
- Idk why this guy got the group rose. What did he do? I missed this whole group date.
- I blame my dog and his small bladder.
- Usually someone important gets the first solo date. Who is this person?!?
- Ah, one of the elusive former pro football players.
- And now we are screaming?
- OH, you know what is a good date idea? Let’s talk about all of our failed relationships!!!
- “This is the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life” – Sir, have you even lived?!
- Clare, where have you been hiding this dress? And WHY do you still have it? Is this like 27 Dresses and you just might put on a random fashion show with failed engagement dresses instead of bridesmaid dresses?
- Watching these guys laugh at puns is cringe.
- Anyone else think that Chasen looks like a poor man’s John B?
- This is the highest stakes dodgeball game? Have you even watched Dodgeball?!?
- Nickelback Blake is too intense.
- Red team is already my favorite, taking a cue from Dodgeball.
- Did the blue team even show up?
- “This is the most action I’ve seen in a while” – Same.
- Oh god, this idiot is gonna pull a Cam and crash the group date.
- *inserts gif of Michael Jackson chomping down on popcorn*
- This is the first I’ve heard of a Brandon being on this show.
- “We worked so hard we deserve some time with Clare” – Blake, your team didn’t even show up. It was like powderpuff football my sophomore year of high school.
- HAHAHA total rejection.
- Brandon needs to shut up ASAP.
- Oh god IDIOT.
- At this point, even making up something else would be better than just saying her beauty is all you like about her.
- Oh, snap.
- He’s gone!
- Ew, Blake what is this shirt? Stop shopping at Tommy Bahama.
- Why on Earth would you give him the rose?!
- So this is just the Clare and Dale show right?
- Ugh, honestly that was one of the hardest episodes to get through. Must be prepared with stronger alcohol next week.
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