My life, my job and My Sundays are all officially zero fun. 2020 has been a poop show for the entire world but it’s been especially somber for Carolina Panther fans. Outside of being a Jet’s fan, I can’t see how this year could get any worse. But worry not, the Cat’s still have another 6 weeks to further sink my soul into a depth of tears so vast, you’ll need a submarine to find me. Football is no longer fun.
It seems like a short few weeks ago, my outlook on life and importantly, football, seemed absolutely glee ridden. The Kitty’s purred there way out of an 0-2 black hole and clawed their way to 3-2. My bullish optimism and intoxication grew each and every Sunday. ” This team is exceeding expectations.” Alas, the pumpkin that was the Panthers Cinderella 3 weeks, burst into a flying pile of orange shit. Football is no longer fun.
In honesty, I only have myself to blame for the state of my happiness every Sunday. The Cats do this every year. They start hot like a ferocious feline only to be neutered come week 7 into a full blown Garfield. Here’s a stat for you sabermetric Tik Tokers.
2018 week 8: 6-2
2018 week 17: 7-9
2019 week 8: 5-3
2019 week 17: 5-11
2020: Week 5: 3-2
2020: Week 10: 3-7
Guess what mother frickers? Football is not fun.
Next on the menu are the Lions, Vikings, Broncos, Packers, Washington and of course Sean Payton’s butthole face. Let’s lose out cats so maybe, just f****ng maybe… we can secure a top 5 draft pick and football may be fun by the next Olympics.