Last night, the dynamic Raven left the game abruptly in the heat of the Fourth Quarter. Twitter exploded like the Phoenix, pondering what season injury Jackson might have sustained.
“No Lamar on the sideline, The Ravens are done.”
” Lamar can’t handle the big lights, he’s done.”
Two flushes and a roll of toilet paper later, Jackson shot out of the tunnel like Captain Underpants and took an actual poop on the Browns defense. Turns out Jackson was never hurt at all, he just had to poop. It’s a tale as old as time itself. Shit, I take a poop break 5-6 times a day when working.
Imagine you’re in the deep push of a growler and your boss is knocking on the bathroom door demanding you to get back to work. A poop break should be peaceful, uncoerced and most importantly not rushed. If you strain to hard, you’ll put yourself on IR.
Lamar wants what all of us pencils pushers desire……. To take a poop on the clock and not be chastised for it.
IBS is as real as the streets and the NFL athletes are not immune of its explosive attacks. Let the man poop in peace and keep balling out Lamar.
Stay tuned for next week when Baker Mayfield departs the game from a surprise yeast infection and Colin Cowherd’s twitter lights up like a damn Christmas Tree.