It’s a new year, yet the same shit as ABC’s premium show is running like clock work with the opening night of the Bachelor. I typically don’t dive into this realm of senseless rubbish but hockey doesn’t start for another 8 days so Bachelor it is. Make no mistake, the show is absolutely ridiculous, yet, wildly entertaining. Delightful, yet tacky much like Hooters. This feral season started out with savage entrances, cat fights and the drama was brewing like your morning poop. Below are my 40 live thoughts while watching this train wreck. For content purposes, I’ll be burdening you all with my thoughts each week.

 

  • Nemacolin is where this is filmed. Where the sweet shit is that?
  • The Bachelor is premiering with a Yellow turtle neck with a purple blazer. The joker 2 teaser looks great!
  • His personal gym has a peloton and resembles a modern day Globo gym. Meanwhile I’m eating free pizza at Planet Fitness not trying to set off the lunk alarm.
  • “Nothing can stop me.”  You thought 2020 was bad? Just wait until the snake wolves are released in 2021.
  • I already hate the ballet chick. “Tall and handsome. He’s my type.” I’m short and obtuse
  • Anna is going to be a f***ng problem
  • Top tier, haven’t heard that since Delta Si Fraternity rush.
  • “What’s about to happen? “- You’re going to have your pick of the liter with 30 hot ladies. Tough start to 2021.
  • “I never have been on the bachelorette.” Yeah, me either bud.
  • Rachel is going to be a f***ng problem.
  • *Girl walks up stairs. Matt licken’s his lips and gazes. Clearly a butt guy.
  • I wonder if they pre game this shit?
  • I came all the way to meet you from Ethiopia. shit,  you can’t send her home now.
  • She brought a damn step still? Maybe I’ll bring my squatty potty in public to greet people
  • She wore hooves lol. I love her.
  • Oh shit they kissed like Lady and the Tramp
  • KIsli is rocking that 50 shades darker look and I don’t hate it.
  • Byov- bring your own vibrator to work day.
  • Where did she put that meatball? Was that a Ziploc bag?
  • Kit’s going to be a f****ng problem.
  • Queen Victoria is going to be a problem.
  • Imagine shoving your vibrator in someone’s face and he’s praying 10 mins later for the lord to forgive you.
  • Kit and the queen are going to f****NG  claw it out like James Cordan and T Swift in Cats.
  • “You look better in person.” No female has ever said that to me. EVER.
  • Nothing like a dildo to ruin a pretty traumatic moment
  • I love dildo girl already
  • Kit and the queen are going to brawl
  • Victoria is the night king.
  • Scratch that she’s Cersi
  • I just want queen , kit and dildo girl all in a room and we just see where it goes.
  • Victoria is as bad as the New York Jets.
  • Apparently I went to high school with Victoria…..
  • Oh shit, bitches are getting eliminated
  • The producers are going to make Matt pick the Queen
  • Dildo chick is second guessing her bold approach
  • Naked chick got one. Dope.
  • ” Just love me, why won’t you love me.” Marilyn has serious daddy problems
  • Dildo got one!
  • Anna, poor Anna, she needs a rose.
  • He picked the f***ng queen. Newsome High School Prodigy.