Author Archives

officejockeys

The Stinky Bandit

Now, before we get started, I know there are some people who’s cultures frown upon the use of deodorant or some people who for whatever reason have just decided against ever wearing deodorant. This article isn’t about you. This is for all the people who wear deodorant but […]

The Parlay Prince

Welp another losing week.  I hear that hitting .300 is good, but maybe I have my sports mixed up.  I am clearly no expert, but I do know one thing.  Points are getting laid this weekend.  They will likely being the only thing getting laid. Buffalo Bills @ New […]

Fight or Wipe Defense

Whether you’re a child, adult, or Navy Seal, you are never more vulnerable than when you are taking a shit. Your pants are down, and your body is filling up a toilet bowl as a sign of surrender after spending hours fighting whatever it is you poisoned it […]

Date with a Liar

A few months back I matched with a girl on tinder. According to her profile she was a yoga instructor. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. That means she’s flexible, which is something I need in a woman for 30 seconds of missionary. I digress. We meet up […]