Clarky- Mistaken for Rudy more times than not, Meet Clarky. When he isn’t struggling with his weight and cubicle lifestyle, you can find him reliving the dream in bottom tier Beer League. Wild women, impeccable charm and phenomenal hair are attributes he is seldom known for. However, Clarky is known to abuse his liver, further digress his work career and demolish coffee tables when the Washington Capitals are on.


The Beast– Just your typical run of the mill 225 pound man, living life one pizza slice at a time. When not raising his cholesterol, he enjoys brief walks to the local Wendy’s. Find the Beast traveling the globe protesting cauliflower and the KETO cult.



Belly Boo- With the body proportions of an ogre, Belly Boo serves as Office Jockeys competitive Eater. Training with 5 square meals a day, Belly Boo pushes himself to new horizons each and every meal. When he’s not clogging his arteries, you can find him drunkenly peeing his pants.



Jonner Cones-  A former JV All-Star, turned pencil pusher. These days you can find him crunching numbers hunched over in his cubicle, and by numbers we mean minutes until the almighty 5:01 p.m. strikes. In his spare time Jonner enjoys singing out of tune, developing new hangover remedies and rearranging his Stevie Nicks shrine. Jonner is often mistaken for Ellen DeGeneres.


The Temp- This is for all of you Jockeys out there who prefer to stay anonymous. blog your troubles away, all while keeping your identity, dignity and job secured. 



Screen Shot 2018-08-30 at 6.59.45 PM

Uncle Ant- Easily the most elderly and abnormal of the group. Find him on the streets protesting “Big Brother” while preaching his conspiracy theories to the youth of America.


Screen Shot 2018-08-30 at 7.01.48 PM

Silent Riot– Introducing the King of the Cubicle. Good looking enough to get dates, awkward enough to ruin all of them. He’s just your average young professional looking for the perfect caffeine fix and a way to avoid turning thirty.