Category: Sexless In Seattle

Wrong Number

It was just a normal Saturday. I was waking up late with a hangover and working up the strength to be productive. Then all of a sudden I receive a text from a number not registered in my phone. Talk about a pick me up. That hangover is […]

The Stinky Bandit

Now, before we get started, I know there are some people who’s cultures frown upon the use of deodorant or some people who for whatever reason have just decided against ever wearing deodorant. This article isn’t about you. This is for all the people who wear deodorant but […]

Date with a Liar

A few months back I matched with a girl on tinder. According to her profile she was a yoga instructor. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. That means she’s flexible, which is something I need in a woman for 30 seconds of missionary. I digress. We meet up […]

Wedding Season

It’s Friday at 5:01, heading to happy hour like the Booze Hound I am. However, this pup won’t be aggressively howling at women much younger than me per usual. Reason being, I am grabbing drinks with one of my friends who is vastly more accomplished, career-driven and essentially all around […]

No More Mr. Nice Guy: Seaweed wax

Another hopeless escapade flushed down the toilet. Another opportunity with the mythical species that is the female squandered.  I decided to proceed along the whole “self improvement, No more Mr. nice guy” plan all my friends and the self-help gods have been raving about. I’ve exhausted about every […]