Tag: featured

Summer of CrossFit: The Horror

After taking a long and meticulous gander at myself in the mirror, depression sank in. The once chiseled 6th grade physique I once had, was replaced with flabby torso complimented with bitch tits. Due to treating my liver and arteries like a punching bag soaked in acid the […]

Dateless In Daytona

  Another year another escapade in the butthole of America, Daytona, Florida. That’s right, the Office Jockey news team loaded up the RV and embarked on a quest to the deep gloomy pits of Daytona. If you’ve yet to experience the atrocity that is this great city, life […]

Mid-Week Blackouts

If you’ve yet to realize your life course takes a drastic change after graduating college, allow me to be of assistance. The life you once knew is f****ng over. The day in day out grind of the real world entraps and confines your every day activities you once […]

Sam Darnold is SamWise Gamgee

As a conspiracist, the better half of the human population may elude that professional sports are too “Main steam” for old Uncle Ant. On the contrary, half the population are not even humans, so touché’ mother f****rs. That being said, uncle Ant takes pleasure in streaming professional athletics […]

Kegels: The Future

Another weekend in the books, another 72 hours of sex-free fun added to my eternal dry spell. Each week I allow myself an ounce of desperation: that this weekend will be different. If Magic Johnson can beat AIDS, I sure as shit can get laid. But alas, the […]