Tag: office jockeys

Quarter Life Crisis

As I drunkenly barrel roll out of bed this morning, alone I might add. I reach for my pants to check if my phone is there, praying my bank account didn’t overdraft. Oh No! shit, shit shit balls. My pants are soaking wet. It’s okay, maybe you spilled […]

Kegels: The Future

Another weekend in the books, another 72 hours of sex-free fun added to my eternal dry spell. Each week I allow myself an ounce of desperation: that this weekend will be different. If Magic Johnson can beat AIDS, I sure as shit can get laid. But alas, the […]